The Catalyst
by Mama Skree
Summary: Commander Kymberli Rzepka has been assigned to command the Defiant on a sensitive mission in the Gamma Quadrant. Relying on her instincts to provide answers and her crew mates to provide support, she stretches herself to the limit to find a solution- to more than just the problem at hand. Can she handle the high demands of the mission, or will she crack under the pressure?
1. Chapter 1

The Intelligence Officer's sudden gasp caught in her throat. The yellow glass vial slipped right through her fingers, without hesitation, and careened in slow motion toward the shiny sink basin before she knew what was happening. With a clink, clink, and a ka-CHHH... it shattered loudly into several pieces. The shatter resonated off the metal basin, magnifying the sound into a shockingly loud crash. The medication drabbled down the drain as she stood watching, horrified.

"Kym," a voice met her ears from the bedroom. "You okay?"

Kym lifted her gaze to the round mirror, still holding the unloaded hypospray. With her long tangled brown hair pulled back in a loose ponytail shimmering in the dim light of her bathroom, she looked at her reflection with disbelief and wide eyes. Her white silk nightgown cascaded delicately over her shoulders. Thin fingers got to work picking up the slivers of glass, pinching each piece in her fingernails and angrily pitching each shard into the nearby trashcan.

"I'm fine," she voiced back to the bedroom, carefully picking the pieces out of the drain. She ran the faucet to rinse the medication down the drain and clean surrounding sink top.

Her last vial of drexamethasone - six doses over the course of 12 days - peacefully dripped down the drain as she felt a sting of panic welling in her stomach. The powerful glucocorticoid kept her body from rejecting the transplanted stem cells she received nearly a year ago to correct a devastating spinal cord injury. The drug could not be replicated, but rather had to be shipped from Starfleet Medical on Earth, three days away. She already knew that the Deep Space Nine pharmacy didn't routinely stock the drug and with a day to process the pharmaceutical order, Kym would now be without the essential medication for at least four days.

"What broke?" A voice from behind her drifted to the replicator in an early morning stupor. Kym didn't turn around even when she heard _"red-leaf tea, please."_

With a sigh, she finally admitted her clumsy mistake.

"My last vial of Drexa." she said with a shake of her head and a two-handed lean on the sink counter top. "I accidentally dropped it into the sink."

Still wiping up her mess with a soft gray towel, she spotted one piece of glass stuck in the overflow drain. As she pulled it out, she shook her head again at her own clumsiness. She threw it into the trash can with one last burst of anger.

"Oh." the voice behind her said. She quickly brushed her teeth and spit into the now-clean sink, running the water to wash the toothpaste away.

"What now?" she absently said as she combed through her tangled hair. _Maybe I'll cut this disastrous_ _mess off_, she thought. _It would be nice to not worry about all these tangles one day._

"Don't worry about it. I already have an order in with Starfleet Medical. Should arrive tomorrow. In the meantime, we can substitute with methylprednisone."

Relieved, Kym retreated back into the bedroom to get dressed. The evidence of the previous night's events surrounded her - the disheveled bed sheets, her Starfleet uniform still strewn carelessly across the floor, her phase pistol and its harness draped over the back of a tall black leather chair. The scene still surprised her as she debated on whether it was all a horrible mistake. She could hardly believe the past three days' events, let alone the culmination of events last night.

Before she could finish dressing in a clean uniform, she suddenly heard a station-wide alert:

"_All senior staff report to the wardroom._"

She quickly loaded her phase pistol into her concealed weapon shoulder harness and pulled on her tunic over it. As she slipped her other boot on, she heard the familiar voice again from her dining room.

"Want me to wait for you?"

Kym exited her bedroom in a rush, trying to quickly gather herself. She slung her hair into a silver clip and flashed a smile. Putting aside her desperate need for a cup of coffee, she brandished an aura of confidence and alertness.

"No need, I'm ready now." she said. _Yup, this shouldn't be awkward at all... _she thought to herself as they made their way out into the corridor and toward the wardroom together.

* * *

**Two weeks prior... **

_"For sleep, riches and health to be truly enjoyed, they must be interrupted." -Jean Paul_

Commander Kymberli Rzepka's ebony eyes flashed open in a startle. She lay frozen in her bed for a moment, taking in the view of her gray ceiling and praying she didn't hear what she thought she did.

_Not now. Please, for the love of the Four Deities, just let me sleep... _

_"Kira to Commander Rzepka__."_

In a fury of movement, Kym scrambled to touch the comm badge on the table beside her bed. Her legs flailed against the sheets for leverage as she finally reached the silver and gold device.

"Rzepka here. Go ahead." she replied in a breathless but sleepy voice. _Please be nothing... please... _

_"Commander, __ please report to my office,_" Kira's voice sounded worried through the comm link. Kym let her head fall back against her pillow in frustration, but she smiled to mask her exasperation.

"I'll be right there." she said back through the comm, touching the cold metal device again to break the link. She lay still for another few seconds, thinking she had to practically lock herself in a closet to get any sleep.

"Computer, time," she said as she threw aside the gray satin sheets and sat on the edge of the bed.

_"The time is 0830 hours." _

An hour. She slept a whole hour. Having worked third shift the previous night without sleeping the previous day, one hour felt like one minute. Her animosity toward the situation grew as she forced herself out of bed and pulled on her black uniform. Adjusting her concealed weapon holster around her shoulders, she wondered what could be so important that required attention now.

_Someone important __better be dead_, she thought to herself.

Since receiving orders from Starfleet Intelligence two months ago for a permanent position aboard Deep Space Nine, Kym hadn't gotten much sleep at all. She usually worked overnight as the station's Senior Military Analyst; the late hours providing little interruption while working on sensitive matters. The trade-off was interruption to her sleeping patterns during the day. As a Betazoid, she functioned well on a minimum of eight hours of sleep a day, with 9 to 11 hours being optimal for peak telepathy. She had been averaging four per night. If she was lucky.

Within a few minutes, Kym gingerly stepped into Captain Kira Nerys' office, expecting either a celebration or a catastrophe. Inside the captain's office, she noticed Lieutenant Ro Laren, Dr. Julian Bashir, Commander Elias Vaughn and Lieutenant Nog sitting calmly on the soft gray sofa and chairs around the perimeter of Kira's office. The captain stood at the replicator when she noticed the sleep-deprived Commander walk in.

"….and a coffee. Hot with cream." Nerys said into the replicator. A whirr and a glow later, two mugs materialized in the replicator's interior. Nerys lifted both cups and handed one to Kym.

"You're gonna need this." Nerys said as Kym took the cup with both hands. The warmth of the glass mug promised an extra spark of energy she needed to get through the impromptu meeting.

"Thank you," Kym said with relief. She eyed the empty chair next to Commander Vaughn, inviting her to sit.

"You ok, kid?" Vaughn said with a speck of concern, shifting his weight and crossing his left ankle over his right knee, leaning back in his chair.

"Just came off third," she muttered with a small nod, gently sitting and gripping her coffee cup close to her face with both hands. The holy grail. Her lifeline for the next hour or so. She held the sacred cup to her lips and slowly breathed in the steam. It smelled delicious. She took a small satisfying sip and looked up at Nerys, waiting for the big news. Kym extended her psionic abilities out into the room of officers, detecting only excitement from the doctor and annoyance from Lieutenant Ro. Nothing from Vaughn or Nog.

"Commander, I'll catch you up quickly. I received this from Starfleet Command today," Nerys began, handing a small gray padd over to Kym. Kym wrapped her fingers securely around the padd, took it, and skimmed the text. An Order for Investigation.

"Captain Erika Tulane has been missing for seventeen days. Her runabout was discovered in orbit around Kurrill Prime in the Gamma quadrant with considerable damage but no sign of the captain. It was transmitting a rotating frequency distress signal. _Enterprise_ picked it up and investigated, but found no further evidence of the Captain's whereabouts. They delivered the runabout and the information back to Starfleet Command, who then sent it here." Nerys explained. She leaned herself against her black desk, half-sitting and half-standing. The image on the desk's reflective surface distracted Kym from the perceived seriousness of the looming situation.

Kym quickly read the description of the missing captain while Nerys spoke, thinking her name sounded familiar. Her prior assignments included first officer aboard the _Excelsior_ during the time Kym served aboard as a young engineer five years ago. _Tulane... Tulane... now I remember. She's half-__Betazoid_, Kym concluded.

"Why us?" Kym finally asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not us... _you_." Nerys said, passing another padd to the Commander. Kym nearly choked on a mouthful of coffee when she saw the orders on the screen. She'd been ordered by Starfleet Intelligence to take command of the Defiant with a high clearance crew and investigate the whereabouts of the Captain. "You know more about Kurrill Prime than anyone here. Starfleet Intelligence is entrusting you to find the missing captain," Nerys continued. "To be honest, you also know more about Tulane than any of us."

Kurrill Prime was the homeworld of the Vorta, the former leaders of the Jem'Hadar army. Kym studied them extensively throughout her graduate studies in Interspatial Relations and during the Dominion War. The Vorta were generally gentle people, but their planet was very primitive, made up of mostly forests and caves. The Vorta were once believed to be ape-like creatures. According to various historical sources, the Vorta discovered a Founder many years prior to the Dominion War and protected it from persecution from the solids, and in return, the Founder promised them places of power within the Dominion during the war. The Founders genetically altered the Vorta to be sentient, humanoid beings and gave them the designation of commanders of the Jem'Hadar. The few Vorta left on the homeworld, however, remained in their original, pre-genetically engineered state. Truth was, Kym _did _know more about Kurrill than anyone else on the station, but only by default.

"Why didn't you call me sooner?" Kym snapped, feeling herself growing even more aggravated with the situation. She sighed and took another sip of coffee, calming her nerves down.

"I thought you would appreciate the hour of sleep. I apologize." Nerys curtly replied, her attitude projecting back at Kym. Kym looked Nerys in the eye with an apologetic glance and received a small smile, and understanding, in return.

"And let me guess... I'm sitting with my skeleton crew now." Kym suggested. Nerys nodded.

"With the rest up to you. You still need tactical, science, and one more security as well as shift relief." Nerys confirmed.

Out of the corner of her burning eye, Kym glanced at Commander Vaughn, still sitting cross-legged with his arm slung over the back of his chair. She finally sensed a small bit of satisfaction from him, with a twinge of excitement.

She knew he would be standing as her first officer.

She glanced back down at the orders in her hand. Seventeen pages described the situation in which the captain went missing, pictures of the runabout, and coordinates of the planet.

The silence in the captain's office was eerie and the tension was thick. Everyone waited to hear what Kym said next. She couldn't argue. She couldn't put this off on anyone else. She knew that Starfleet was counting on her, sleep deprived or not.

Placing her half-empty coffee cup down on the edge of the shiny black desk, Kym stood at attention in front of the captain. Having been under Nerys' official command for over two months, Kym still felt strange standing at attention in front of one of her best friends.

"Very well, then. Lieutenant Nog, how soon can Defiant be ready?" Kym asked, turning to face the Ferengi.

"The last of the upgrades will be finished in twenty minutes, sir." The young lieutenant was eager to get back out into space again. Betazoids were unable to sense emotions from Ferengi, but she could tell even without sensing his emotions.

"We will prepare to embark in thirty minutes, then, Captain," Kym said to Nerys. The captain nodded in acknowledgment and promptly dismissed the crewmen. All of them filed out of the office except for Commander Vaughn, who stood and approached his fellow officers.

"Do you need a crash course in the Defiant's tactical systems?" he said quietly to Kym. She merely shook her head and grinned. She knew he was going to constantly challenge her for the duration of the mission.

"Hasn't been that long, Commander. I'm sure I can manage," she said confidently. Vaughn smiled at Kym's brazen attitude, knowing even if she did need the lesson, she would never accept it.

"See you on the bridge, then." Vaughn said, turning and walking out into Operations.

Kym turned to Nerys and shook her head, picking up the half-empty coffee cup. A dirty, worn baseball rested on a small black stand in the middle of the desk. A twinge of sadness crept into Kym's heart a she thought about Captain Sisko and how much he was missed.

"I'm going to need more than this cup of coffee today." Kym admitted. Nerys pursed her lips in concern, finally forcing a small grin.

"Good luck and be careful. I hope you find her."


	2. Chapter 2

_"Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another." -George Eliot_

Commander Rzepka carelessly tossed one more vial of Drexa in her open bag on the floor of her bedroom. Even though a vial of the immunosuppressant would last for 12 days, she had no idea how long the mission to find the missing captain would take. She briefly considered leaving her pain medications behind, but threw in a vial each of toradol and hydrocortilene, just in case. _One day_, she thought, _I will be free of these crutches... _ She pushed aside the memory of her spinal cord injury to refocus on packing. Only a few minutes until embarkation. No time for reminiscing right now.

Favorite purple night gown? _Check_.

New book? _Check_.

Hair and tooth brushes? _Check_.

Clean underwear? _Check_.

She uploaded the good-bye letter to her mother to a transmission chip, labeled it with a yellow "x," and placed it flat on the glass dining room table. Right in the middle. Since the war, away mission officers labeled good bye letters to their families with a yellow "x." The quartermaster officer who came looking for the chip after an officer's demise would know which one it was by the marking. The chip could always be found either on the pillow of the officer's bed or on their dining room table.

Leaving on a mission always left a pang of fright in Kym's chest. Every mission had the potential to be the last. With hostilities from the Borg growing in frequency throughout the Federation, she had good reason to be worried. She never could get used to the possibility of death that seemed to constantly surround her, whether it be from the Dominion War or from the Borg attacks. The threat of death seemed to be a common denominator for all Starfleet Officers.

Having nearly been killed a few months ago, Kym constantly thought about her potential last words to her mother. Her mother had lived alone back on Betazed since Kym's father died in a shuttle accident nearly ten years ago. Kym's mother always worried about her; Kym's risky career in Starfleet didn't make the worry any easier.

Regardless, Kym had a job to do and brushed the feeling aside. She glanced again at the red transmission chip resting silently in the center of her glass dining room table, right where it belonged. She wondered if it would be the last one she ever recorded. The one her mom ended up hearing.

Ten minutes to embarkation.

Kym lifted her bag's tan strap over her shoulder, feeling it dig into the leather harness she wore to conceal a small phase pistol under her tunic. She had only been carrying a concealed weapon for six months, yet curiously felt naked during the times she didn't wear it.

During her walk down the corridor, several officers passed her with a courteous nod. Some even said "Morning, Commander," to which she replied a swift but quiet "Morning." She intentionally ignored the very jovial individuals, thinking she would likely punch one in the face if she were forced to acknowledge it was, in fact, a _good _morning.

The turbolift doors closed with a _woosh_, closing her into the lift alone.

"Defiant," she angrily snapped into the quiet air. She took little comfort in knowing the computer would never judge her for being irritable. With a beep of confirmation, the lift moved in the direction of the station's docking ring. During the previous half hour, she appointed a full relief crew and the additional officers, as requested. She disappointed herself in that she checked the duty roster to appoint a back up tactical and science officer. As a Starfleet Intelligence officer, part off her duty to the station was knowing each officer - all 900 of them - at least by a face recognition level. She had been so busy over the past few weeks, she hadn't had time to review rosters and meet the newest officers.

With another _woosh_, the turbolift doors opened to reveal the docking ramp of the _Defiant_. She stepped over the threshold and hurried to her quarters to drop off her bag. With only five minutes to launch, she didn't have much time to get to the bridge.

"Captain on the bridge!"

As Kym entered the bridge of the _Defiant_, she heard Ensign Prynn Tenmei's voice ring out. For a moment, she stood in confusion before quickly realizing that Tenmei was announcing _HER_ presence, not someone else. The dark skinned ensign sat tall in her chair, her short black hair encircling her head like a delicate bubble.

"As you were," Kym replied to the officers on the deck, who took their seats at their stations. "Ensign, do all hands report for duty?"

"Aye, sir. All hands report ready," the ensign replied back. Kym stepped quickly around the commanding officer's station in the center of the bridge and took her seat in the Captain's chair. Purple accents of the ship's bridge surrounded her, a communications panel to her right and a tactical reporting station flanked her left. She adjusted her tunic and sat back, crossing her legs. Gray and black industrial carpet under her feet contrasted sharply with the light gray walls and bulkheads.

"Engineering, report," she said, scanning through the launch checklist in her head. Lieutenant Nog stood at stiff and unnatural attention from his station to the right of the bridge. He was "mustard class," standing proudly in his black and gray uniform with a mustard undershirt and two pips adorning the collar. As a former molecular engineer, Kym remembered what it was like to wear a mustard uniform - long hours, hard work, and little reward. Nog was a talented engineer and she highly respected him as he carefully built his career as a young Starfleet officer.

"Engineering reports all systems are go. Ready for a cruising velocity of warp 9.5 on your mark, sir," he said sharply.

"Very well. Tactical, report," Kym continued as Nog took his seat again.

Commander Vaughn stood and reported from the tactical station on Kym's right, in the front of the bridge, much in the same manner that Lieutenant Nog had. His silver hair and beard lent a feeling of maturity to the crew. The century-old commander was Kym's mentor and closest confidant. He traded a black intelligence uniform of nearly sixty years for a red command one over three years ago and was an incredible source of information for Kym as she began her journey into the intelligence community. He set a good example of respect for the rest of the crew with a rookie captain. Kym fought back her smile of amusement as she nodded at Vaughn.

Lieutenant Sam Bowers stood and reported for Operations from the left front, straightening his arms at his sides. His blonde curly hair made him appear to be only in his mid-teens, although Kym knew that he was well into his thirties. Everyone should be so lucky to look so young.

Kym checked the yellow panel to her right, which displayed a signal that DS9 patiently waited for the launch sequence initiation. She touched the panel to contact the communications offer on the station.

"_Defiant _to Deep Space Nine, requesting permission to launch," Kym said confidently. She had only commanded _Defiant _one other time in her career, during the war when an away team was unable to return to the ship. She had, subsequently, been thrown into the role without much preparation. She learned a great deal of lessons since then.

_"Permission granted, Defiant."_ Kym heard Captain Kira's voice on the other end of the communications like. _"You're clear for launch, good luck." _

"Release docking clamps, initiate launch sequence, Ensign." Kym said, saying a little prayer. After a short "Aye sir," Kym heard the loud metallic sound of the clamps releasing the ship, letting it drift backward from the station.

"Take us to the wormhole, Ensign. Full impulse," Kym added. A feeling of excitement grew in the pit of her stomach, like a swarm of butterflies coming to life in her gut. She loved traveling through the wormhole. Soon, the ship found itself lost amid swirling blue and white space, swallowed by the mysterious wormhole. In another instant, they emerged on the other side, in the Gamma Quadrant.

Kym quickly calculated how long it would take to reach Kurrill Prime. Seven hours at warp 9, ten hours at warp 7. She knew she needed to sleep before they got there, so her decision was made without much hesitation.

"Helm, lay in a course for Kurrill Prime, warp 7," she ordered.

"Course laid in, sir."

"Engage. As soon as we cross the Dominion border, engage cloak."

In another instant, Kym felt her head swimming as the ship entered the high warp speed. She breathed deep, forcing oxygen back to her head to relieve the dizziness. Five minutes later, she was feeling normal again and wondered if anyone else ever experienced the Warp Fog quite as severely as she did.

"Commander Vaughn, you have the bridge," Kym announced with a small sigh, standing and turning to the Captain's Ready Room. Fatigue hung heavy over her head and she retreated to the office for a cup of coffee and a quick read over the mission essential assignments before she fell asleep.

The Captain's Ready Room was brightly lit, with a small black desk and a chair nestled in the corner. A plush purple chair sat quietly across from the desk, waiting for a visitor. A replicator waited on the left wall, a large painting of Starfleet Headquarters hung on the right wall. Kym settled into the comfort of the desk chair, breathing deep and still shaking off her Warp Fog.

A chime at the door prevented her from closing her eyes for just a minute, to which she quickly replied "Come in!"

Julian Bashir appeared in her doorway as the doors slid open, allowing him to step through the threshold and into the office before the doors shut again. Kym's patience for... anything... was thin. Irritated at the interruption, she allowed her aggravation run away with her demeanor.

"Can I help you?" she shot at the doctor as he invited himself to sit in the purple chair across the desk space. She sensed a feeling of compassion and understanding from him, but she didn't empathize with it.

"Perhaps you should get some rest before we reach Kurrill," Julian softly suggested, tiptoeing around her delicate feelings. "You get a bit... brash... when you're sleep deprived," he added. Kym could feel his concern flowing out of his consciousness and tried to grasp onto it, but couldn't. She only snapped back like a taught rubber band.

"I don't care. I need to catch up on mission requirements" Kym sneered. "_Someone _thought I wasn't important enough to be included in my own mission briefing."

"Kym," Julian spoke with a kind voice, leaning his elbows on his knees. "Listen to yourself."

Kym swallowed hard, realizing the doctor's point. She looked into his brown eyes, which were full of pure caring. Kym was touched by his nurturing spirit, a trait that she wished she could pick up.

"You're right, I'm sorry," she admitted, staring at the silver desktop for a moment. She rose from her chair as did Julian.

"I'll see to it that you're not disturbed for at least six hours," he promised. Kym smiled through her exhaustion.

"Thank you," escaped her lips as she left the office and turned toward her quarters.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Anger is an acid_ _that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." -Mark Twain_

Captain Erika Tulane's body coughed up dust in a fury of movement from under an enormous dust cloud.

_You're not getting away from me that easily_, she thought to herself. The tall, blonde-haired captain pulled herself to her feet, ignoring the searing pain radiating from her left ankle. Her command uniform was covered in gray dirt, torn at the left knee, and smelled foul. Dark gray rock cave walls surrounded her, illuminated only by streaks of sunlight creeping in through small openings in the ceiling, about twenty feet above her head. Looking down to the cave floor to find her dropped tricorder, she noticed her left foot was bent in an irregular angle. _Broken_. Her fall from the cliff could have been much worse and she knew it.

Her uniform was covered in light gray dust. She had been traveling through the caves for the majority of six days on the surface of Kurrill Prime with few clues as to the commander's location. She found a few foot prints what appeared to be Starfleet issue boots. Then yesterday, she noticed the Vorta.

Three weeks ago, her first officer, Commander Collin McPherson, mysteriously disappeared off her ship. Tulane spent the better part of seven days looking for him aboard her ship, the USS _Serek_, with no luck. After Starfleet Command called off the search for him, the captain took matters into her own hands and discovered several clues which led her to a Vorta ship heading back to the Gamma Quadrant. She left _Serek_ in the capable hands of her science officer and took a runabout to the Gamma Quadrant to find the Vorta ship.

When she followed the ship's warp signature to the planet, she encountered significant resistance from the Vorta. They disabled her runabout shortly after she entered orbit, forcing her to transport to the surface when life support failed.

Normally when an officer went missing, she would allow Starfleet Intelligence to take care of the matter themselves, but this one was different. Collin McPherson had been serving with her for nearly fifteen years. They had gotten to know each other so well that they completed each others sentences. They complimented each other.

Since his disappearance, Tulane realized that she not only couldn't serve Starfleet without him, but she couldn't live without him. She was infuriated at whoever was responsible for his disappearance. She intended to find whomever was responsible. She had been chasing a suspicious Vorta since she spied him picking up a Starfleet comm badge off the ground yesterday. She had come too far to let him slip away from her so easily.

Now with a broken ankle and being slightly lost, Tulane was even more angry - and determined - to find the Vorta who seemed to have something to hide. Opening her tricorder, she noticed the power had been completely drained, as well as her weapon. _Great_, she thought. _No way to contact the Federation, no weapon, and no navigation. Perfect. _

As the captain looked around at her surroundings, her anger grew to a point where she slammed her fist down on the a sharp rock near where she fell. She instantly regretted her burst of rage while holding up her hand. Bright red blood streamed from the side of her hand, quietly and calmly washing away the dust in it's path downward. The pain brought her back to reality - inside the cave - where she had a job to do. She stared at her bloody hand, letting the pulsing pain flood her consciousness, refocusing her mind to something corporeal, substantial. Hunger pangs developed in her stomach, reminding her she had run out of field rations earlier in the day. The ground beneath her feet became solid again, her eyes began to focus again.

_I'm going to find you, Collin. I will. _

On a broken ankle and a determined spirit, Captain Tulane limped down the last tunnel of the cave which she sensed the Vorta's presence.

* * *

_"Nog to Commander Rzepka." _

A vision of the Captain's Quarters filled one open eye. Her body felt heavy as she woke.

_Nope, you're dreaming,_ she said to herself. _Go back to sleep. _

_"Nog to Commander Rzepka, please respond." _

Kym had fallen asleep still in her uniform on the very uncomfortable bed. Still half asleep, she reluctantly touched her comm badge on the left shoulder of her uniform.

"This better be good, Nog, or I'm throwing you in the brig," Kym snapped through her comm badge.

"Er, yes sir, I - uh - we require your assistance in engineering, sir." The young Ferengi stammered through his request. Kym rolled her eyes in impatience.

"Whatever it is Commander Vaughn can take care of it..." Kym trailed off as she turned over in her bed, nuzzling her face against the soft pillow.

"Uh... well... Commander Vaughn asked me to wake you, sir." Nog contested.

_That's it. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill my first officer so that I can go to prison and get some damn_ _rest. I'm going to hit him over the head with a full power cell and drag his body to - _

She suddenly sat up in her bed quickly. Her murder fantasy was interrupted by the view out of the window. They had dropped out of warp. Something was wrong.

"I'll be there in five minutes, Lieutenant."

As soon as she walked through the sliding doors of Engineering, she smelled the unmistakable aroma of defeat.

"Your deuterium injector is burnt up." Kym proclaimed loudly over the commotion. Lieutenant Nog noticed her presence and hurried to the Commander's side.

"Yes, sir. I know that, sir. The problem is, we can't get the injector out of the system. It cracked during the power surge and it's leaking, sir."

Not saying a word, Kym retreated to the status panel near the quiet warp core. Orange lights from the tall plasma conduits filled the room, casting a strange glow about the department. Without the warp core activated, engineering was rather dark. The entire warp system had been shut down due to the leak and now with the injector stuck - probably fused - to the system, they had no way to run the matter-antimatter injectors to maintain warp velocity.

"Which injector is it?" Kym asked no one in particular. Nog hurried to her side again.

"Left front, sir."

Kym wasted no time walking to the left front panel, yanking it angrily off the wall, and muttering curses to herself under her breath. She tossed the panel aside and poked her head inside the the unit, the charred odor was sickening and her nose stung with the fumes. A few yellow lights flickered around the ruined injector but she could still see the cracked chamber and the seared exterior. Without power running to the injector, the pressure could not be released in order to dislodge the injector. With the injector circuit interrupted and warp drive disabled, _Defiant _was a sitting duck.

_Great. Now what?_

She pulled her head out of the chamber and sat on the floor, leaning her back against the bulkhead, thinking.

"How far are we from DS9?" she called out, having no idea how long they traveled. Turning around might be the best option, considering they couldn't get far with only two injectors. Nog scrambled to the nearest panel and pushed a few buttons to check their location.

"6 light years, sir." Nog replied. They had been cruising at Warp 7 for over four hours. At full impulse, it would take them way too long to get back to the station. Limping home was not an option.

She closed her eyes and racked her brain for an answer. She suddenly but vaguely remembered an instance when Chief O'Brien, the former Chief of Operations aboard Deep Space Nine,cut away a melted bulkhead from a shuttle pod wreckage site with an exoscalpel. None of the tools in engineering were accurate enough to cut away the injector without damaging the other two injector coils. She would have to configure the scalpel to a very high frequency, but the idea was crazy enough to work. She just needed to cut through the aft portion of the bulkhead, then slide the infuser core out. The rest of the injector should fall right out after that.

"Engineering to Dr. Bashir." Kym touched her comm badge and spoke loudly, not getting up from the floor.

"This is Bashir," she heard through her badge.

"Doctor, do you happen to have an exoscalpel I can borrow? I promise I'll be extra careful with it."

A long pause followed her strange request, followed by a very confused "I believe so."

"Could you bring it down to engineering, please?" Kym tried to sweeten her voice since remembering that she had been curt with the doctor a few hours before.

"Acknowledged," Bashir said, breaking the comm link.

"Nog, be sure all the power is cut to this conduit. I'm going to cut the bad injector out and bypass the system to run off the other two. We won't be able to exceed warp 4, but it's much better than impulse. You might want to take notes," she explained to the young lieutenant. He nodded and dashed behind the core to cut the power. Kym could hear him laughing and joking with another engineer, to which she rolled her eyes. She couldn't understand what they were joking about, but she was in no mood for humor. The irritation built inside her body, overwhelming her consciousness into a hazy state. She hated being so angry over everything but she couldn't - more like didn't want to - help it.

In a few moments from her seated position, Kym noticed the doctor enter the engineering suite, walking directly over to her and kneeling down in front of her.

"Strange place for a nap..." he teased. He held out the exoscalpel to Kym, which she wrapped her hand around and accepted. The warmth from the doctor's hand lingered in the silver metal of the device.

"Indeed. This busted injector had other plans, though," she said, pulling herself off the floor. "Nog! That power cut yet?"

"Yes sir," Nog called out, hurrying back to the front open panel beside Kym. She programmed the exoscalpel to the highest wavelength setting and watched the tip of the cone shaped instrument come alive with a brilliant red light.

"I'm not even going to ask what you're doing, I'm just going to stand here and pray that I won't have to reattach anyone's arm," Julian said with his hands crossed in front of his chest. Kym grinned at his statement, sensing his curiosity.

"Not to worry about me, but I may throw Nog in the brig later," Kym half-joked as she crouched and crawled into the chamber. She heard Nog defending himself to the doctor as she got to work. A miniscule amount of yellow light illuminated the injector's connections which were completely fused to the bulkhead. She quickly and skillfully cut away the burnt pieces, each one dropping to the floor with a harsh, metallic thud.

_Almost there,_ she whispered to herself as the injector dangled by one remaining electrical connection. As she moved the scalpel toward the connector, she was suddenly shocked by an arc of bright electricity, surprising her so much she dropped the scalpel and bumped her head on the top of the chamber.

"NOG, CUT THE GODDAMN POWER!" she screamed so loudly her voice crackled. Her fingers throbbed violently where the arc of electricity streamed through her hand. She didn't move even when she heard "KYM! Are you alright?!" from Julian, yelling at her from the opening of the chamber.

"I'm fine. NOG!" she screamed again.

"I'm sorry, sir! Auxillary power is cut, sir!" Nog frantically confirmed the final electrical connections had been deactivated. Kym angrily cut through the last connection, letting the heavy injector slide out of the casing into her unburnt fingers. She threw it out of the chamber opening, hearing it land with a thud at Nog's feet. She crawled out the chamber and stood in front of the young engineer.

She held the damaged exoscalpel out to Julian with her injured hand. Two of her fingers were burnt from the electricity, but the injury didn't feel severe. He took the scalpel in one hand and Kym's injured hand in the other, examining it closely. Kym fixed her gaze on Nog, ignoring the doctor.

"Reroute the remaining injectors to bypass the damaged one and have us back at warp within the hour, Lieutenant." she commanded dryly. "I will speak with you about this incident later." The Ferengi swallowed hard, standing at attention like a terrified cadet that had just gotten caught stealing a shuttlecraft.

"Aye, Captain," he sharply replied. Kym removed her throbbing hand from Julian's grasp and stormed toward the turbo lift, Julian following closely behind her. Her head pounded and she was suddenly very hungry. They entered the turbolift together and Kym didn't argue when Julian commanded the computer to take them to Deck 2. They rode the lift in silence for several minutes before Kym broke the silence.

"I'm sorry about your scalpel." She couldn't believe how angry she was with Nog and planned to deliver a formal discipline reprimand once she calmed down a bit.

"It's alright." Julian accepted her apology quietly. "I'm sorry about your nap."

Kym held up her burnt hand, looking at her palm carefully. She hadn't noticed that the skin on the tip of her third finger was charred, revealing a third degree burn and a second degree burn on her second finger. She turned her hand to inspect the front. Her middle fingernail was nearly completely burnt off. It hurt like hell. Her hand was shaking with reserved adrenaline and the odor of burnt flesh followed her nose even when she dropped her hand and turned her face away. She didn't think to check behind Nog to be sure the power was off. She was too busy fuming and wallowing in her own anger to think about double checking the power. Instead, she simply blamed him for being careless.

_Yes_, she told herself. _This is really his fault. But who is the one with the burnt fingers? _

She wanted to vent about how unprofessional Nog had been, but she held it to herself. She wanted to vent about her interrupted sleep - again, but she held it to herself. She just didn't have the energy to start a discussion which would anger her even more. Instead, she let her anger fester while she admitted the obvious.

"That hurts."

The turbo lift doors hissed open, revealing the gray and maroon corridor of Deck 2. She exited the turbo lift and waited for Julian to do the same before walking down the hall to Sick Bay. She was briefly thankful for the searing pain in her fingers. It helped bring her back down to reality, out of the anger storm she found herself battling. With each throb, she felt herself calming down a little bit more, becoming conscious of the floor under her feet and the hunger in her stomach.

"I know it does," Julian sympathized with her pain. "But it will feel better in no time."


	4. Chapter 4

_"There never were, since the creation of the world, two cases exactly parallel." -Lord Chesterfield_

Commander Rzepka leaned back in her brown leather chair in the Captain's Ready Room, feeling smug and satisfied. Her hand was expertly repaired by the doctor, although her fingernail would grow back on its own. Her anger also vanished with a welcomed cup of coffee and lunch. She was even lucky enough to catch another two hour nap afterward.

She placed her padd down gently on the silver desk when she heard the door chime. She invited Commander Vaughn to come in, after which he sat in the purple chair, looking for conversation.

"How did it go?" he inquired, noticing Lieutenant Nog exit the office earlier with his head still attached to his body. Seemingly ignoring the question, Kym picked up her glass of ice water from the desk top, took a small sip and returned it to the desk. The cold glass twirled in between her fingers on the desktop.

"Have you ever noticed how disgusting the vents get on Deck 4? Especially the ones around the torpedo launchers?" Kym casually asked. Vaughn hadn't seen Deck 4 in some time, but he knew the entire deck was drenched in filth.

"Yes..." Vaughn trailed, leaning forward and letting a slight air of confusion come over him. Kym looked up from her glass and grinned mischievously.

"They'll be clean before we get back to DS9," she sweetly explained. "The ones in the mess hall, too."

Vaughn leaned back in his chair and let out a small laugh. "Have you ever considered switching to a command track?"

"Never," Kym immediately shot back, slowly shaking her head. "I don't have the patience."

"At least you didn't make him cry," Vaughn pointed out, stifling a chuckle. Kym also chuckled, remembering the ensign who started crying in Ops when Vaughn called her out for being late in front of the entire crew. The poor girl was new to the station and kept getting lost on her way to work. Vaughn was known to be brutal when he needed to be. Sometimes unnecessarily.

"I couldn't be too hard on him," Kym admitted with a sigh. "It was mostly my fault."

"It's not like you to behave like you did in engineering this morning. Why didn't _you _confirm the power was off on a panel that _you _were working on?" Vaughn turned the blame around to point at Kym. She knew he was right.

"I was irritated. And over trusting," Kym admitted.

"Sounds like a bit of laziness to me."

_Here we go..._ Kym thought.

"Oh come on, don't do that." Kym protested. "Nog and I have both learned a lesson here, no need to get accusatory."

"You both still have a _lot _to learn, Kid. Don't forget it," Vaughn firmly counseled. The Commander had adopted Kym's nickname, "Kid," a few months ago when he learned of her true age. At first, he was surprised Starfleet had promoted such a young officer to a command level position, but he quickly learned her substantial intelligence and dedication to the Federation complimented the higher rank perfectly. At 31, Kym was among the youngest Commanders in the fleet. He often joked with her that she was a "kid among grown ups" whenever she made a rookie mistake - such as the situation in engineering. Kym knew the nickname evolved to something jovial, so she didn't mind the sentiment. Although it didn't stop her from wanting to slap him occasionally.

"Time to get on your horse and command this mission. Tired or not, you still have a job to do," Vaughn continued. Kym knew every word out of his mouth meant something, this situation being no different. Instead of arguing with him, she accepted her lesson and nodded. Kym wondered if Vaughn preached to his own daughter in the manner he always lectured her.

"Point taken," Kym conceded, holding her hands up in mock surrender. "I can't be perfect _all _the time. It might make people talk."

Vaughn scoffed under his breath and changed the subject.

"Have you gotten a chance to look over that report?" he asked, motioning a nod to the padd sitting on Kym's desk. She nodded as she picked it up.

"I have. Looks like we have our work cut out for us. Captain Tulane didn't leave us much to go on. I'm taking a team to the surface to her last known coordinates and going from there. Surely, there must be something down there."

"A good place to start," Vaughn agreed. "Who will be on your team?"

"You, plus Ro and probably Bowers. You think Bashir should come along as well?"

"Maybe. It's a good idea to have a medical officer on your team. Could save a lot of time if someone breaks an arm or something. We don't know what kind of resistance we might get down there. Maybe another security officer too. The more rifles present, the better," Vaughn explained. He had much more experience in away missions than Kym did. This was her first command and she relied on his expertise.

"You seem nervous, Commander," Kym pointed out. "Something you know that I don't?"

The look on Vaughn's face spoke for itself, without Kym even needing to sense his discontentment for the forehead wrinkled in thought and his mustache twitched over his pursed lips.

"I've seen a lot of these types of recovery missions, Commander," Vaughn hesitated, putting an element of doubt in Kym's mind. "Most of them don't have a happy ending."

"Who said anything about recovery?" Kym asserted. "I fully intend to find the Captain alive and deliver her back to Starfleet Command. I understand your worst-case scenario theory, but the crew's sense of urgency is a higher when we keep in mind she needs our _help_, not our casket."

Vaughn smiled under his silver facial hair. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, grinning at Kym.

"You know, Kid," he started. "Every now and then, you say something that surprises me. Maybe we'll make a fleet captain out of you yet."

* * *

_Oof_.

Captain Tulane sat in a huff on the floor of the cave, leaning her head against a cool, gray rock in exhaustion. She still sensed the Vorta in her presence, but her fatigue filtered her consciousness. Being only half-Betazoid, she had difficulty focusing her telepathic abilities when she was drained. She knew in a few hours,she would either succumb to sleep or lose her telepathy all together.

Flashes of pain dashed up her leg to her knee. For a moment, she forgot her ankle fractured when she fell from the cliff. Reaching down to her ankle, she wondered how she could have been so stupid to come to this place. She had tied the laces of her boot as tight as she could pull them to splint the fracture, allowing her to limp slowly through the caves. Her toes grew cold and numb from the pressure of the boot.

"You are injured." A soft, cooing voice radiated through the air behind her as she quickly turned to see. A Vorta stood a few meters away, dressed in gray robes. He looked at her with bright lavender eyes and pale skin. Wide ridges danced up the sides of his face in the place where ears should be, with small openings to allow a sense of hearing to protrude. He seemed sympathetic.

"Yes," the captain admitted. She did not stand as the Vorta approached her position and knelt down beside her. He looked at her ankle with a cocked head, concentrating on the seriousness of the issue.

"You were foolish to come here," he softly scolded, still feeling a sense of compassion for the injured woman. "Now look at you. What _were _you thinking, Starfleet woman?"

"I am looking for a fellow officer. He is also Starfleet, wearing a uniform identical to mine. Gray hair, blue eyes, tall... please... " Captain Tulane begged. "Please help me find him."

"Why do you risk your life to find him?" The Vorta chided. "Is your life worth less than his? I shall think not." Tulane could sense distaste and condemnation from the Vorta.

"Because," she paused, wondering if he would understand what she was about to say. "I love him."

"Love. I know not of the concept," the Vorta frowned with the thought. "But from what I see here, it is not worthwhile for me to know. I wish not to act in such a... reckless... manner."

The Vorta helped the Captain up and led her to his base camp where several other Vorta sat around a small wooden table talking and eating. He offered her food - berries and nuts - and water. She pondered his kindness as she ate. After the small meal, the Vorta prepared her a place to sleep, which she graciously accepted. They didn't speak once about the missing Commander, but the Vorta tended kindly to the Captain's needs.


	5. Chapter 5

_"The worst thing about that kind of prejudice is that while you feel hurt and angry and all the rest of it, it feeds you self-doubt. You start thinking... perhaps I am not good enough." -Nina Simone_

"Scan the surface for the Captain, Mr. Bowers." Commander Vaughn ordered, moving closer to the view screen with his hands clasped behind his back. Nearly half the screen was filled with blue and yellow planet surface. Kurrill Prime. Kym sat quietly in her command chair, waiting for the results of the scan, debating Vaughn's next move. She didn't feel comfortable taking an away team to the surface. She didn't have much command experience and she didn't understand why Starfleet Intelligence was involved with this mission in the first place.

"No sign of the Captain, sir. The Uridium Ore in the planet's surface could be disrupting our sensors if she's underground." Bowers concluded. "I'm reading several miles of caves on the main continent."

"How many Vorta within 100 kilometers of her last known coordinates?" Vaughn inquired again, pacing the length of the bridge while gauging his next question, not taking his eyes off the view screen.

"Fifty six, sir," Bowers reported. "Could be more than that under the surface."

"Jem'Hadar?" Vaughn asked. Bowers shook his head.

"None, sir."

Several moments passed before Kym stood out of her chair.

"Move us within transporter range, Ensign." Kym commanded, feeling the nervousness building in her body. "We're going down there. The minute we materialize, bring the cloak back online. I don't want anyone seeing where _Defiant_ is hiding. " Ensign Tenmei complied, sliding a still-cloaked Defiant closer to the surface.

"Vaughn, Bowers, Ro, Bashir, Swift... it's showtime." Kym announced, preparing to transport to the surface. All of the officers, including Lieutenant Anna Swift, one of the station's newest security officers, filed into the corridor and toward the transporter room.

_This is it_, Kym thought to herself as she walked with her team. _Either we find her, or we deliver some tough news. Either way, we're not leaving here empty handed._

The away team materialized on the surface near the entrance to a cave. The glaring sun blinded Kym as she looked around, assuming the Captain probably entered the cave after she arrived on the surface. Tall trees surrounded them, displacing the suns rays in several directions. The ground was sandy with large, flat rocks scattered through the entire area.

"There!" Vaughn suddenly shouted and pointed to the entrance. The away team sprinted over the gray rocks and sand to the entrance of the cave.

As soon as the team entered the cave, Lieutenant Ro and Lieutenant Bowers pulled out their tricorders and began scanning the area. They were surrounded with taupe rock walls covered with drawings and a primitive language. Four entrances to tunnels lined the far side of the cave, each looking equally menacing. The Uridium ore prevented their tricorders from scanning what was down each of the tunnels.

"I'm not reading anything useful. Maybe we should have had better plan before we got here..." Ro scoffed, snapping her tricorder shut. Kym felt a pang of anger welling up inside her as she turned to Lieutenant Ro.

"If you have a problem with the way we are conducting this investigation, _Lieutenant_, you are free to suggest a better plan or return to the _Defiant_." Kym said sharply. The rest of the team turned to look at the women, who were standing toe to toe. Kym was too stubborn to back down from Ro, Ro was too rogue to follow orders from an officer with less practical experience.

"That's all I needed." Ro said dryly, spinning on her heel and walking back out the entrance. Kym quickly followed her.

"Lieutenant Ro, what the hell are you doing?" Kym said a little too loudly. Ro spun around and looked in Kym's eyes with a furious gaze.

"No, what the hell are YOU doing? You think you're the smartest person out here. You think you have all the answers already, and we haven't even started the mission. You're too cocky to run this team. You're going to get all of us killed and I won't have anything to do with it."

"Ro," Kym asked, suddenly confused and angry. "Where is all of this coming from?"

"How do you know the Captain wasn't killed the minute she beamed down here? How did you know that you wouldn't walk us right into a trap? You're not thinking like a commander and you shouldn't even be here."

Kym stood in silence, a part of her thinking that maybe Ro was right. She didn't have the experience to lead this mission. She didn't even have the experience to check the damn power in engineering.

"Ro to Defiant," Lieutenant Ro suddenly said, tapping her comm badge. "Get me out of here."

In an instant she was gone, leaving Kym standing alone outside the cave entrance with mixed feelings.

"Brush it off, Kid."

Kym turned to face the cave entrance where Vaughn was standing. He looked serious, but Kym could sense that he was amused.

"Just let it roll. You gotta job to do, and it's not to prove yourself to Ro," he called out again.

Kym walked slowly back to the cave entrance. Maybe she was going to make a mistake. Maybe she wasn't cut out for this mission. She had no idea what to do next.

Vaughn couldn't contain his grin when the young commander finally got close to him.

"What? You think that was funny?" Kym mused.

"I do. Proves to me that someone else thinks you screw up as much as I do." Vaughn crossed his arms in front of his chest. "We going to sit out here and conference all day, or are we going to get moving?"

Kym was so frustrated she wanted abort the entire mission and throw her comm badge at Commander Vaughn. She hated being in command. She hated Starfleet for sending her on this ridiculous mission. She hated Kira for thinking that she was experienced enough to lead it.

Most of all, she hated Kurrill Prime.

She huffed and stomped past Vaughn and back into the cave, where three remaining officers stood chatting quietly.

"Let me make something clear with all of you. I may not necessarily be the most experienced command officer out there, but I've been sent out here with all of you for a reason. If any of you feel that your lives or careers are in danger by being out here on this mission, please take this consequence-free opportunity to return to Defiant and wait for us there." Kym said to the team. They all looked at each other like they had no idea what was going on. "But please know that I need all of you to help find the Captain. This isn't about personal gain or about who is the best. It's about fulfilling our mission."

Not a sound emerged from the team or the cave. Kym swore she could hear all of their hearts beating over the deafening sound of her own.

"Just waiting on orders, Captain." Lieutenant Swift piped up before anyone else. Her black hair was swept up in a bun on the top of her head and her almond eyes were set almost too far apart. She stood at attention in front of Kym. At least she still had someone with security experience still on the team.

Kym tried to think like the captain. One of the entrances was more lit than the others. If she were the Captain, she would probably take the tunnel that she could see the best in, then come back to try another if she didn't like what was inside. Kym pointed to the brightly lit tunnel. "That one."

For several hours, the team walked quietly, occasionally stopping to examine strange markings on the walls or pick up a strange looking rock. They found no clues about the Captain.

"This is going no where," Vaughn finally pointed out when they reached a large clearing in the tunnel. More rocks. More primitive walls. More nothingness.

"I know," Kym sighed. She sat on a rock with a huff. Her legs were on fire with nerve pain. She could tell the rest of the crew were getting tired, too. "There has to be some kind of clue here somewhere."

They sat in silence for a few more moments before they all heard a crashing noise from the tunnel ahead.

"What was that? Sounded like someone falling..." Julian piped up. He was right. The sound was almost akin to a body hitting the ground.

Kym stood quickly, ignoring the pains in her pelvis, and sprinted to the tunnel opening. Vaughn started to speak, but Kym held up her hand to silence him. She listened for a long few minutes before pressing her telepathy out into the opening.

"She's been here," Kym said quietly. "Recently."

"Then let's go." Vaughn concluded, pulling Lieutenant Swift to her feet. The rest of the crew stood and started following Kym down the tunnel. It was much darker than the previous tunnel, forcing the team to turn on their flashlights. We're going deeper underground, Kym thought. She felt the fear growing with the team as they continued to walk.

"No power to the tricorders!" Bowers suddenly exclaimed. the rest of the team pulled out their own tricorders and also found the same result. Kym checked her rifle - no power there, either.

"An energy dampening field," Vaughn suggested. Kym stopped the team again to think.

"What could be causing a dampening field this far underground?" she thought out loud. No one answered her. They were all reaching their limit. They had all been walking for nine hours.

"Let's set camp back where we lost the energy devices. At least then we'll have the ability to defend ourselves if we need to." Kym suggested. The team retreated back through the tunnel until they got energy back. Vaughn and Bowers started a small fire in the middle of a small room off the tunnel path, Swift opened several packages of field rations and set up a space for the team to eat dinner. Kym rather hated rations. They were dry and tasteless.

After the meal, Kym sat alone against the far wall of the room as the crew played a silly game that Lieutenant Bowers made up in his head. He was always pretty creative with difficult situations. Kym stewed on the situation. She had so many unanswered questions and didn't really know where to start to find the answers.

After several minutes, Julian broke away from the game and ambled over to her seated position, sliding down the rock wall and sitting on the dirt floor next to her.

"Long day at the office?" he coyly asked, resting his forearms on his bent knees. Kym smiled and nodded, not looking at him.

"Yup. I haven't missed this." Kym said with a chuckle. It had been at least a few years since she'd been on an away mission that lasted more than a few hours.

"I bet you haven't," Julian said. "You ok?"

Afraid to admit that she was having significant pain, she shook her head quietly in a confirmatory no. Julian looked at his clasped hands in contemplation.

"I don't belong out here, Julian. Why did Starfleet decide that I was ready for a command?" She quietly to her friend. He listened intently.

"Because you're a good officer, that's why," he said, smiling. Kym knew that _he_ believed what he was saying, but she didn't. He was the first person in several days that had anything positive to say to her and she appreciated his effort.

"We'll see about that, won't we?" she half joked while smiling back. She stretched out her legs, flinching with the sting of stiffness.

"Is it bad?" Julian asked nonchalantly. Kym frowned one side of her lip and let her head bob in a tiny nod. "I have two vials of painkillers in my medkit," he whispered quietly.

"No," Kym hissed. "I need to sense the Captain if we get close enough to her. And you should save it in case we have an emergency."

"Anything else I can do to help?" Julian asked.

"No," Kym said again. "I just want to find her and get home."

"Me, too." The doctor concurred. "Me, too."


	6. Chapter 6

_There is a way out of every box, a solution to every puzzle; it's just a matter of finding it. -Captain Jean Luc Picard_

"So why _are _you here, Captain?" the Vorta asked Captain Tulane as she ate breakfast with two other Vorta at a small round table. She had slept through the night well, and the Vorta who found her splinted her ankle so she could walk easier.

"I've already told you. To find my officer," the captain said gently. "And I need your help."

"I don't know how much we can help you, but I can tell you what I do know," the Vorta explained. "But first, I must show you something. After breakfast, of course."

The three Vorta continued to eat quietly as the Captain wondered what was really going on. She could sense nothing but contentment from the three men, but something else was there. Something secret.

After breakfast, the Vorta invited her to follow him down a pathway into a large room. On the far end of the room were two more Vorta standing guard over a strange contraption. A large arch stood above their heads in a hexagonal pattern, with delicate scrolls molded into the frame. Along the two sides of the doorway sat two energy sources, whirring quietly with electricity. The room was dark except for the white light radiating through the inside of the arch.

Captain Tulane stared into the arch as it displayed scenes of many different worlds, one after another. Earth, Bajor, Cardassia... many other worlds she didn't recognize.

"My god," was all she could force out of her mouth.

"Isn't it beautiful?" the Vorta commented proudly. "Of course, you can understand our sense of preservation in keeping it a secret. We believe the Founders have blessed us with this portal, this... gateway... to remind us that we will have freedom once again. This is a place of worship for us now."

The captain knew that the remaining Iconian Gateways, much like this one, had been closed after the Orion Syndicate, a rouge criminal mafia within the Federation, had tried to purchase the gateways. When the Federation succeeded in disrupting the sale to the Syndicate and closing the gateways, the Syndicate was driven back into their own business.

The gateways ware designed by the Iconians as a way to travel vast amounts of space very quickly. As a person stepped through the gateway when a certain scene was displayed, they were placed into that world instantly. Some worlds could be seventy thousand light years away. The Federation viewed this type of technology as dangerous, potentially allowing entire quadrants to be overrun with hostile forces in a matter of minutes. With the scars of the Dominion War and the Borg Invasion fresh, the Federation closed the gateways a few years ago, hoping they eliminated the threat of a surprise war.

"How long has this been here?" The captain hastily asked, limping closer to the arch to get a better look.

"We don't know," the Vorta replied. "Since creation, we think."

""Why wasn't it closed with the others?" the captain continued to inquire.

"We also don't know that. Perhaps the Gods protected it." The Vorta's voice sounded dreamy as he thought about the Founders.

Several more minutes of silence ensued before the Captain spoke again. "Why did you bring me here?"

"You said you were looking for your officer." The Vorta said. "I'm afraid I have unfortunate news for you."

The Captain peered at the Vorta, waiting for him to speak.

"You see, when he came to inspect the gateway, he... fell...into it," the Vorta shook his head in sadness. "He said he was here to study the gateway, he mentioned he was from your... syndicate."

"What?!" the captain practically screeched. She could hardly believe what she was hearing. "Which world did he fall into?"

The Vorta peered into the gateway from a distance. "We don't know. Could be any one of them. We estimate there are eighty worlds in there." His voice was casual.

Tulane suddenly felt sick. With no way of knowing where the Commander was - or which timeline he was in - there was practically no way to get him back. She stood staring at the portal for a long time before the Vorta spoke again.

"Was there something else I could help you with, Captain?"

She looked at him with hurt in her eyes. "Do you know how to get him out?"

"Oh," the Vorta laughed. "No one ever comes out. I suppose he could find his way back home from wherever he is, but it might take some time. If the Gods permit him to do so."

The captain concluded the portals were on the same timeline. Giving a small sigh of thanks, her mind turned to other matters.

"The comm badge you found. Do you have it?"

The Vorta quietly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver and gold device.

"This?"

The captain took the badge in her hand, gripping it in her fist. Hot tears stung her eyes as she realized that she might never see her first officer - her love - ever again. She dropped to her knees in front of the portal, crying silent sobs. She was too late.

* * *

Kym slept restlessly on a bed of sand. She stared at the dimly lit ceiling of the cave for what seemed like hours before drifting off into a few minutes of rest. The rest of the crew slept like the rocks in the walls. Just when Kym didn't think she could pretend to sleep another second, a familiar fragrance met her nose.

Coffee.

She quietly sat up and brushed the dirt quietly off her sleeves. She sniffed the air again.

_Coffee_.

Vaughn's sleeping spot was curiously empty. Kym stood slowly, stepping over Lieutenants Swift and Bowers. Out in the tunnel passageway, Vaughn sat on a large rock in front of a small fire with a container of water over the flame, perched on several smaller rocks. It smelled delicious.

"You're just in time for our weekly breakfast meeting, Commander," he commented with a large grin on his face. Every week, Kym met with Commander Vaughn to discuss military operations over breakfast at 0500. Kym despised getting up that early, but grew fond of the meetings. Vaughn reached into his pack and pulled out a small metal cup, poured the coffee out of the pitcher and handed it up to Kym. She took it with both hands. "It's instant, but it's better than nothing."

"Thank you." Kym breathed. She wasn't exactly pleased with drinking black, instant coffee... but as Vaughn said, it was better than nothing. She took a sip, letting the bitter liquid slide down her throat. _The reward is worth the discomfort..._ she thought.

She sat on an adjacent rock next to Vaughn as they both sipped in silence.

"We're going to find her today." Vaughn suddenly said between sips, still staring into his cup. "I have a feeling."

"Yeah?" Kym asked skeptically. "How do you figure?"

"You sensed her yesterday, which means not only is she close, but she's _alive_." Vaughn pointed out. "Your instinct won't lead you astray."

Before the conversation could continue, Lieutenant Bowers emerged from the small cave room, rubbing his eyes and following his nose. "Do I smell... coffee?"

"Sorry, Bowers," Kym joked, tucking her cup closer to her chest. "Exhausted senior officers only."

Bowers laughed through his early morning grogginess.

"Well, sir, technically," Bowers pointed out, accepting a cup from Vaughn. "I'm senior to you in years, so I'd say we're even." Kym had turned 31 the past year, Bowers was circling his 33rd birthday in a few weeks.

"Well, you got me there," Kym admitted. "Have a seat, Lieutenant."

As Bowers sat, Kym felt a strange feeling come over her. _Discomfort_. Her heart suddenly started beating faster and her palms got sweaty. _Fright_. She stood quickly, dropping her coffee cup and allowing the contents to splatter on the rocks around the fire. The sensations were coming from the opening of the tunnel in front of them. She moved quickly to the entrance, pressing her telepathy into the space beyond her body.

Pain. Anguish. Desperation.

_"…..help me... please..." _

The voice made Kym's heart jump. Vaughn stood behind her, wondering what was going on.

"What is it, Kid?" he asked. Kym shook her head in an exasperated sigh.

"I don't know. We need to move. _Now_." she insisted. Vaughn turned quickly and sprinted toward the room with the sleeping officers.

"_Mobilize, troops! On your feet and out the door on the double_!"

Vaughn's voice reverberated in her ears as she moved through the dark tunnel. She kept moving at a practical run, not wanting to release the sensations she was receiving. _This must be the Captain,_ she thought.

Within a few moments, she came to a clearing where the path narrowed. Over the edge of the path, the cave dropped away to another clearing 6 meters below. The ceiling sloped down into the clearing, speckled with stalactites reaching down into the pit. Small streaks of sunlight dazzled into the cave from cracks in the ceiling.

Kym peered over the edge of the pit. _She's been here. She's still here. _

As she turned to retrieve the rest of the away team, the edge of the path gave way under her feet, sending her sliding down the side of the pit. She let out a small cry and just as quickly, she grasped onto a few rocks in the side of the wall, gripping with all her might.

She was overcome with a sense of desperation. Presence. It filled her gut and streamed through her veins. It sent chills up her spine and made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. _Captain Tulane is closer than before. She was here too. The captain dropped into the pit. If I drop down, too... I'll feel what she felt. See what she saw.  
_

Amid her thoughts, she felt two hands on her wrists and looked up quickly. Lieutenant Bowers gripped her wrists with all his strength, laying on his belly on the ledge.

"Lieutenant! You have to let me go. I have to fall." Kym knew if she didn't chase the feeling of the captain into the pit, she would lose her. She came too far to let it go now.

"What?!" Bowers retorted loudly. "I can't do that, sir!"

"It's not that far. I know how to fall... Sam... I know it sounds crazy... please... " Kym pleaded, feeling his fear fill her to the brim, overflowing with her own fear. "The Captain is down there."

"Sir, I - "

"Please!" Kym frantically pleaded. "I can't let her go now. I'll be okay! Go get the team and find another way down! That's an order!"

Bowers looked the Commander in her eyes. He could see the determination in them, and thinking six meters wasn't terribly far at all, he released his grip on her arms.

"COMMANDER!" Vaughn screamed as he rushed to the ledge with the team just in time to see the Commander's tiny body disappear into the dark pit.


	7. Chapter 7

"So... why _are_ you here, Captain?" the Vorta asked Captain Tulane as she ate breakfast with two other Vorta at a small round table. The cave walls appeared almost chalky in the small room where the Vorta had established living quarters. The captain slept through the night well and the Vorta who found her splinted her ankle so she could walk easier.

"I've already told you. To find my officer," the captain said gently. "And I need your help."

"I don't know how much we can help you, but I can tell you what I do know," the Vorta explained. "But first, I must show you something. After breakfast, of course."

The three Vorta continued to eat quietly as the Captain wondered what was really going on. She could sense nothing but contentment from the three men, but something else was there. Something secret.

After breakfast, the Vorta invited her to follow him down a pathway into a large room. On the far end of the room, two more Vorta stood guard over a strange contraption. The large arch stood above their heads in an arcing pattern, with delicate scrolls molded into the frame. Along the two sides of the doorway sat two energy sources, whirring quietly. The room was dark except for the light radiating through the inside of the arch.

Captain Tulane stared blindly into the arch as it displayed scenes of several different worlds, one after another. Earth, Bajor, Cardassia... many other worlds she didn't recognize.

"My god," was all she could force out of her mouth.

"Isn't it beautiful?" the Vorta commented proudly. "Of course, you can understand our sense of preservation in keeping it a secret. We believe the Founders have blessed us with this portal, this... gateway... to remind us that we will have freedom once again. This is a place of worship for us now."

The captain knew that the remaining Iconian Gateways, much like this one, had been closed after the Orion Syndicate, a rouge criminal mafia within the Federation, had tried to purchase the gateways. When the Federation succeeded in disrupting the sale to the Syndicate and closing the gateways, the Syndicate was driven back into their own business, leaving the Federation to observe the development of new gateways.

The gateways ware designed by the Iconians as a way to travel vast amounts of space very quickly. As a person stepped through the gateway when a certain scene was displayed, they were placed into that world instantly. Some worlds could be seventy thousand light years away. The Federation viewed this type of technology as dangerous, potentially allowing entire quadrants to be overrun with hostile forces in a matter of minutes. With the scars of the Dominion War and the Borg Invasion fresh, the Federation closed the gateways a few years ago, thinking that they eliminated the threat of a surprise war.

"How long has this been here?" the captain hastily asked, limping closer to the arch to get a better look.

"We don't know," the Vorta replied. "Since creation, we think."

"Why wasn't it closed with the others?" the captain continued to ask.

"We also don't know that. Perhaps the Gods protected it." The Vorta's voice sounded dreamy as he thought about the Founders.

Several more minutes of silence ensued before the Captain spoke again. "Why did you bring me here?"

"You said you were looking for your officer." The Vorta said. "I'm afraid I have unfortunate news for you."

The Captain peered at the Vorta, waiting for him to speak. His violet eyes sparkled with faith in the gateway and his Gods.

"You see, when he came to inspect the gateway, he... fell...into it," the Vorta said. "He said he was here to study the gateway, he mentioned he was from your... syndicate."

"What?!" The captain practically screeched. She could hardly believe what she was hearing. "Which world did he fall into?"

The Vorta peered into the gateway from a distance. "We don't know. Could be any one of them. We estimate there are eighty worlds in there." His voice was casual.

The Captain felt sick. With no way of knowing where the Commander was - or which timeline he was in - there was practically no way to get him back. She stood staring at the portal for a long time before the Vorta spoke again.

"Was there something else I could help you with, Captain?"

She looked at him with hurt in her eyes. "Do you know how to get him out?"

"Oh," the Vorta laughed. "No one ever comes out. I suppose he could find his way back home from wherever he is, but it might take some time. If the Gods permit him to do so."

The captain concluded the portals were on the same timeline. Giving a small sigh of frustration, her mind turned to other matters.

"The comm badge you found. Do you have it?"

The Vorta quietly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver and gold device.

"This?" he said

The captain took the badge in her hand, gripping it in her fist. Hot tears stung her eyes as she realized that she might never see her first officer - her love - ever again. She dropped to her knees in front of the portal crying.

* * *

Kym heard the unmistakable sound of tearing cloth and felt a subtle pop in her left hip as she slid down the side of the cave and landed on the soft cave floor. She tried to tuck and roll, but one leg wasn't fast enough and took her entire weight before collapsing. She lay on her side on the cave floor, trying to decide if the fall was a good idea after all. She rubbed her eyes, which were now burning and itching. Stupid dust.

_"….please... help me find him..."_

Kym coughed as she tried to sit up. She pushed her hands into the dirt, forcing her torso upward. A few inches from her hand were several rocks, one displayed a small amount of dark red blood. Kym reached out to touch the rock. The blood was dry, but fairly recent.

_"Captain, I hear you..._" She pressed her thoughts out into the open air. _"Please hear me...I'm here to help you..."_

She heard nothing in return. Deciding that she needed to get moving, she tried to stand on shaky legs. She looked down and noticed her left pant leg was torn to the knee, displaying scraped and slightly bloody skin. Nothing too serious. _So far so good,_ she thought as she looked up at the ledge she had fallen from. It seemed unreasonably high.

She took a ginger step onto her injured hip. A strange catching sensation in her hip joint as she moved alerted her to move slowly, but she felt very little pain. Thank God, she thought as she started to make her way in the direction of the voice.

After a few minutes of slowly making her way down the rocky and dusty path, she appeared at a clearing. A blonde haired knelt on the ground in front of a glimmering arch. Kym gasped at the sight of an Iconian Gateway.

Captain Tulane suddenly picked up her head when she felt a presence she recognized. Not rising to her feet she turned to see an officer - Starfleet Intelligence officer - standing in the opening to the adjacent tunnel looking rather shocked.

"Captain," Kym spoke telepathically to Tulane, still on her knees in front of the portal. "I am here to help. Are you alright?"

"Yes," The captain spoke telepathically. She felt a sense of relief come over the Intelligence officer and herself. "I am alright."

"Are you in danger? My away team is behind me and will be here soon."

"No danger, but I am injured." The captain replied. The Vorta noticed the officer's position and rose to speak.

"Another Starfleet?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I came for her." Kym pointed her finger to the kneeling captain. She hadn't seen a Vorta since the war ended and was surprised by his ghostly demeanor.

"Then you may have her. Her business here is finished." The Vorta replied. He looked back at the captain, still staring at the comm badge in her hand. He turned and slowly walked out the far tunnel beside the gateway.

As predicted, within a few moments, Kym felt the away team approach her from behind. Vaughn approached first and stood beside her.

"Commander, glad to see you're alright," he said, staring at the gateway. "Is that...?"

"An iconian gateway." Kym confirmed with a small nod. "I thought they were all closed."

"So did I." Vaughn said, brushing past Kym and approaching the Captain slowly, who was still crouched in front of the portal. "Captain?"

Tulane looked up with tears in her eyes. "He's gone."

"Who?" Vaughn asked. Julian had already approached the captain's position and began scanning her. She reached up for Vaughn to help her up and he pulled her to her feet.

"Commander McPherson," the captain said. She explained the entire story right then and there, telling them about how he disappeared, how she tracked him here, how he had fallen into the portal.

Commander Vaughn and Captain Tulane talked for a few more minutes as the team investigated the portal. Kym leaned against the wall, taking the weight off her scraped up leg, watching the team do their work. Julian noticed her struggling to hold her weight on one leg and quietly ambled to her side.

"Here," he said, holding her arm with his hand. "Sit down."

He helped ease her down to a large rock nearby.

"Are you injured?" he asked her softly, taking out his tricorder and glancing at her scraped up leg.

"I don't think so." Kym hoped her fib would carry weight with him. She sensed Julian's concern for her. It was strong. He dutifully opened his tricorder while Kym kept her gaze on the Captain and Vaughn. She could feel the love in the captain's heart for her first office and how crushed she was to have lost him through the portal.

"You have a labral cartilage here in your hip," Julian concluded, still looking at his tricorder. Kym sat against the rock wall, staring at Captain Tulane speaking with Commander Vaughn.

"What's that?" she absently asked, still staring at the Captain.

"It's an injury to the soft tissue which holds the hip joint into the socket," Julian explained, still looking at his tricorder while examining Kym's hip and leg. "It's not too serious."

"Mmm hmm. I heard a pop when I landed." Kym said, still staring at the Captain. She was telling Vaughn about the gateway - more like answering his relentless questions. She could tell that Vaughn was very displeased with the discovery of the gateway. He was already contemplating ways to close the gateway, but was hesitant when the captain described the Vorta's cultural signifance on the gateway.

"That was a risky thing you did," Julian said again, closing his tricorder. Kym didn't acknowledge Julian's statement, but changed the subject.

"Is the Captain alright?"

"Spiral fracture to the tibia, she'll be fine once we get back to Defiant. You, however..." he trailed off, thinking about the distance they still had to walk to reach the entrance of the cave. "...will need surgery when we get back to DS9."

Kym threw a surprised and disgusted look at Julian, who sat straight-faced. "What?! I thought you said it wasn't serious!" she said a little too loudly. "It feels practically fine."

"It won't heal on it's own. I'm sorry." Julian apologized. A few moments passed by while he thought about the situation. I wish we could find a shorter way to the surface... he thought.

"Me too," Kym concurred with a small sigh, still not paying too much mind to Julian.

"You too... what?" he said, sounding confused. Kym looked directly into his eyes.

"Didn't you just say that you wished we could find a shorter way to the surface?" she asked, a feeling of confusion and embarrassment coming over her.

"No..." he said, feeling a sense of panic. Their awkwardness was interrupted by Commander Vaughn.

"What's the damage, doctor?"

Julian took a deep breath and stood. "She won't make it to the surface the way we came in, sir." He nodded toward the Captain. "Tulane won't either. We'll have to think of another way out."

Kym struggled to stand as Vaughn reached down to pull her up to her good leg. She stabilized herself and looked at Vaughn, sensing an extreme seriousness for the situation.


	8. Chapter 8

"Commander, I think we need to talk. In private." Kym said. Vaughn nodded and motioned down the tunnel the tem had emerged from. Kym slowly limped down the tunnel a few feet and turned to face the commander. Her thoughts swam around her head, running scared in every direction. Having discovered a gateway, she had a duty to be sure the Federation remained protected from it.

"We need to close the gateway," she whispered close to his ear, looking off into the distance to appear casual. He nodded in agreement.

"What did you have in mind?" he whispered back, looking around to be sure there weren't eavesdroppers.

"I don't know. We can't exactly destroy it without weapons or power," Kym concluded in a quiet voice. "And it's not like we can bomb and run."

"What about those power generators? Can we overload those?" Vaughn quietly suggested.

"Sure, and kill a few Vorta in the process. We're not here to destroy gateways or kill Vorta. We're here to recover the Captain. We need to be as clean as possible with this." Kym whispered. "We're not here to start another war."

"I know. But if the Syndicate..." Vaughn started.

"I _know_." Kym snapped back. "I'll think of something. In the mean time, we need to find a way out here. Let's fall back and regroup."

Vaughn rounded up the away team to retreat back to another small room off the tunnel on the left. As the team ate lunch, Kym pondered the gateway.

All of the energy weapons they had were completely dead. The only energy source to work from were the generators for the gateways. With the guards standing by the gateway, getting near them to overload them would be nearly impossible.

The hum of the generators led Kym to believe they operated on a simple magnetic induction matrix. The interference in their power sources made sense - the magnetic field distributed the flow of electricity, rendering non-magnetic electricity inoperable.

_Electromagentism_, she thought. _It's not that hard to understand - protons, neutrons... electrons. All traveling in the same direction until something disrupts their path._

_Or... reverses their path_.

* * *

After spending a good deal of the afternoon looking for an alternate way out of the cave and not a Vorta to be seen, the team retreated for rest for the evening. The sun had long since gone down, quenching the light from the ceiling. The only lights available from the cave were the lights streaming from the gateway in the next open clearing.

Commander Vaughn sat quietly in a corner of the room as the rest of the crewmen settled down for sleep. They knew they would have to be up early the next morning to continue looking for a way out of the cave. Kym peered at Vaughn from her semi-sitting position across the room. Within a half hour, they were still sitting while most of the crew had fallen asleep. Kym waited for last person - Captain Tulane - to drift off before whispering across the room.

"Psst. Commander," Kym said, catching the attention of the commander. He looked up at her quickly. "Come help me up." she whispered. He got up slowly and tiptoed to her position, grabbing her arm and pulling her to her feet effortlessly. They both slowly and quietly made their way out into the hall a few meters away.

Kym handed Vaughn a phaser.

"What's this?"

"You're going to need it. I have an idea to disrupt the power to the gateway," she whipsered, inching closer to the clearing with the gateway with pain radiating up her hip. She wished she had taken Julian up on his offer for the pain relief. The guards were not there - Kym estimated it was time for them to eat and estimated they would be gone at least an hour. She didn't need half that long.

"I'm listening."

"Uridium ore has the same molecular properties of iron. The only difference is the magnetic polarity weight. It's ten times higher than what is needed for an electromagnet."

"And...?" Vaughn was confused at what Kym was getting at. She laughed to herself and tried to explain the process in simpler terms.

"The generators are electromagnets. We need to stop the electricity to each magnet inside the unit and reverse it." she started explaining. "If we put Uridium in the generator's electrical grid, the polarity with magnify the magnetic field, causing it to multiply. If it multiplies enough... the poles will reverse..."

"Sending the electricity backwards." Vaughn concluded.

"Precisely." Kym whispered.

"How strong will the blast be?" Vaughn asked.

"I have no idea. I'm an engineer. Not a Ordinance Tech." Kym laughed. "Should be enough, though."

"WHAT are you two doing?!"

A shrill voice erupted from behind them. Kym and Vaughn both spun around to see Captain Tulane standing two meters from them, leaning on a wall for support. Julian had re-splinted her ankle and healed some of the damage so she could walk very short distances.

"Captain, please keep your voice down," Kym hissed.

"You're destroying the Gateway?!" she said again, not keeping her voice down. "What about the Vorta?"

"What about them?" Commander Vaughn interjected. "If they sell this information to the Dominion, we're looking at another war on our hands. Do you want that to happen, Captain?"

"We can't disrupt their culture. You're violating the Prime Directive if you destroy it!" She said again, inching closer to Kym and Vaughn. "And that is grounds for dismissal from the fleet." Kym could sense something more behind her argument. McPherson. She didn't want the gateway destroyed in hopes of finding out where he was.

"The Prime Directive?!" Kym hissed. "To hell with the directive. We have an opportunity to prevent another war and I'm taking it. I know Starfleet Intelligence would support that decision."

"I'm sure the Vorta won't stand by and let you destroy it. What then? When they start firing their weapons at you, what then, Commander?" Tulane argued. She hoped to argue with then long enough for the Vorta guards to come back, and Kym knew it.

"We don't have time for this. Please, Captain. Stand aside and let us do what we need to do." Vaughn said.

"What's going on here?" Lieutenant Bowers stepped out into the hallway, assessing the situation. He held something in his hand behind his left hip, Kym couldn't tell what it was.

"Your fellow officers here were attempting to destroy the gateway. I intend to prevent that from happening." Tulane said proudly. "And I thank you for your support, Lieutenant."

Sam moved closer to the Captain, still holding the instrument behind his back. "Well, Commanders, I think the Captain has a point here. We can't violate the Prime Directve..." Without another word, he swing his arm out from behind his back, injected the Captain with a hypospray, and caught her body, easing it to the ground. Kym stood with her mouth open, Vaughn stood with wide eyes.

"As I was saying... you better get to it. You have about thirty minutes before she comes to. Then she'll be mad as hell." Bowers said, grinning and lifting the Captain back up to take her back into the room with the rest of the crew. Kym grinned.

"Remind me to kiss you later, Sam!"

"It's the least I can do for dropping you into that pit. Now go!" he said, dragging the captain back to safety.

Kym and Vaughn entered the clearing. Kym reached up to the wall and pulled out a small, shiny piece of rock.

"You'll need about a pound of the shiniest rocks. We need to get as much pure ore as possible. You take the left generator and I'll take the right."

Kym's heart pounded with anticipation and nervousness as she quickly gathered a few more shiny rocks of uridium. The Captain was right - she WAS violating the Prime Directive, but justified the thought with the gateway's potential danger to the Federation. If the Syndicate already had their eyes on the portal, who knows how many other civilizations knew about it as well.

Kym hurried to the right generator, glancing up at Vaughn, who was already standing at the left side of the portal.

"Lift up the front panel to the generator," Kym hissed. "There will be a small door to the left of the power coupler. Lift that and place the rocks inside."

"That's it?" Vaughn whispered loudly.

"And pray."

After the officers placed the rocks, they retreated back to base camp. They sat outside of the door to the camp, silent, staring at each other. Kym had no idea how long it would take for the generators to explode.

After an hour, still nothing. Vaughn started to have his doubts. "Do you have a plan B?"

Kym shook her head slowly. "Sure don't."

"Then maybe we could get some rest. Perhaps another idea will come to you and kick you in the face in your sleep." Vaughn joked. Kym widened her eyes at his statement which sounded an awful lot like a threat.

Of course, Kym couldn't sleep. She lay on the ground wishing her pulsing hip would calm down. She tossed and turned and tried to get comfortable before she felt a hand under her knee, lifting it up. She looked up in surprise at Julian, who slid his jacket under her knee.

"This will take some of the pressure off your hip," he whispered quietly. He smiled at her warmly.

"Thank you," she whispered in relief as her hip stopped throbbing. Julian returned to his sleeping spot and Kym closed her eyes, trying to think of another plan to close the gateway.


	9. Chapter 9

_"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." ― J. Robert Oppenheimer_

Lieutenant Bowers heard it first. A small explosion rattled through the door of the room next to his sleeping spot. Thinking he was dreaming, he sat up from his position and listened for a few moments.

He glanced around the room. Everyone else was fast asleep, but he could see the sun already peeking through the small cracks in the ceiling. Thinking that what he heard was nothing, he settled back down in his spot to catch a few moments of sleep before they all mobilized for the day.

As soon as his eyes were closed, he heard it again, This time, the noise was so loud it woke the entire team.

"What was that?" Captain Tulane immediately asked, sitting up.

"It came from out here," Bowers said, getting up and walking quickly out into the path of the cave. He quickly returned with a concerned look on his face.

"The gateway is overloading." he frantically said. Kym struggled to stand on her feet.

"How bad?" she asked carefully.

"Come see for yourself " Bowers said. Kym slowly limped to the door of the room, peering down the hall toward the gateway just as another, stronger explosion hit the gateway. She reached the clearing just as another bright light met her eyes, which destroyed the left generator. The right generator was overloading, but still intact. She felt the away team approach behind her as she held up her arm for them to stop.

"Don't get too close." she said, watching the gateway.

"What's happening?" Julian asked, but Kym ignored him. The blast from the second generator was so loud and so bright, it muffled out his voice. Kym took a few steps back, expecting another blast.

Movement in the right tunnel caught her eye. Three Vorta entered the clearing looking confused as Kym heard the generator overloading..

"NO! GET BACK!" she screamed as loud as she could. They didn't hear her, so she took a few steps forward. A hand on her shoulder stopped her from entering the clearing. "STOP!" she screamed again, seconds before the final blast radiated through the cave. The blast destroyed the wall behind the gateway, allowing a blast of sunshine to splash through the hole. The right wall buckled and collapsed in a fury of dust and rock.

The three Vorta disappeared under the falling walls and rocks.

"Oh my god," Kym muttered, approaching the debris. Both generators had been destroyed, along with the gateway. It lay in pieces scattered about the clearing. Kym stood in disbelief as Julian rushed to the Vorta, checking each one for a pulse. He finally stood from the third Vorta and shook his head slowly.

"What have you done?!" Captain Tulane shouted, limping to Kym's position.

Kym drew a deep breath. She felt numb to what had just happened and inadvertently ignored the Captain. She pulled out her tricorder and opened it. The red and orange lights met her eyes as she scanned the perimeter. She touched her comm badge in an attempt to contact Defiant.

"Rzepka to Defiant."

_"Defiant here, go ahead."_

Kym looked around at the away team.

"Prepare for transport. I will contact you when we are ready." Kym said. The away team looked at her, waiting for orders. "Everyone, get out of here. Meet together five meters outside the opening of the cave."

One by one, the team carefully stepped over the rubble and rock, out into the sunshine. Kym dragged her weak hip up each rock, leading with her strong leg. Vaughn noticed her difficulty and approached her, taking her left arm and wrapping it around his shoulder for support.

"Thank you," she said.

"Congratulations," he whispered back. Together, they stepped into the sunlight outside of the cave.

"Rzepka to Defiant. Six to beam up." she said, touching her comm badge.

* * *

Three more hours until Defiant reached Deep Space Nine and Kym hadn't uttered a word of her mission report. She was at a complete loss for words to describe what happened over the past week. She was thankful that she was interrupted by the door chime.

"Come in!" she called. She looked up to see Julian standing in the doorway with a look of concern on his face.

Uh oh. What now? Kym wondered to herself. "Julian? Come on in."

Julian stepped slowly into the captain's quarters, not remembering the last time he had seen it. Kym stood slowly from her seat on the sofa and locked eyes with the doctor. She sensed a feeling of dread to go along with his concern.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, not moving. He looked at her - through her - and drew a deep breath.

"I need to talk to you," he said. His voice sounded weak and vulnerable. He swallowed hard and approached Kym as they both sat on her sofa. His fear shot through her, making her nervous and worried.

"I'm all ears," Kym replied, still staring him in the eyes. Since hearing his thoughts a few days ago, she couldn't quite figure out how to talk to him about it, so maybe this was her chance.

"Kym... after what happened this week... I need to tell you something serious." Julian began. Kym started to feel his nervousness and started getting nervous herself.

"Julian, whatever it is, you can tell me. You don't have to worry." she reassured him. He smiled at her understanding. Lately it seemed that no one understood him quite like she did.

"I've been pushing this aside for a long time, longer than I'd like to admit. But after this week, I need you to know how I feel... about you." He swallowed again, looking at her black eyes glimmering in the ambient light. "I didn't want another day to pass without you knowing. Not like McPherson and Tulane."

Kym's stomach tied itself in a knot. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her hands started feeling shaky as she processed what the doctor was trying to tell her.

"After nearly losing you a few months ago, I realized that I would be... lost... if you were gone. I couldn't even think about what I would be if you weren't in my life." he said, his voice still shaking. "Kym, I'm scared to live without you. I'm... I think I'm... in love with you."

Kym couldn't help but cover her mouth with her hand.

"Julian..." she whispered. She couldn't think of anything else to say. Her heart beat in her chest as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She had been a jerk to him all week and he still offered encouragement, understanding, and compassion. She didn't deserve what he was proposing.

"Please, let me finish before you start to cry," he pleaded. Kym stifled her tears and listened.

"You're like nothing I've ever experienced before. Sometimes I can't believe how well you understand me. You've been the first person that I've ever met that never judges me. Never." he said, tears welling up in his own eyes at the summons of his emotion. Kym could feel the love streaming out of him like a waterfall. She'd never felt anything like it.

Tears were readily falling from Kym's eyes, dripping into little wet spots on the pant legs of her uniform. Julian noticed the tears and placed his finger under her chin, drawing her face up to look at his own. With his other hand, he wiped her tears just as he had done so many other times before.

"Kym, I-" he began, but Kym placed her fingertips over his lips to silence him.

"Please, stop." she whispered again. "I know."

She sniffed back her runny nose. She hated crying. Julian jumped up off the sofa to retrieve a few tissues from the side table.

"What do you mean, you know?" he asked gently, handing her the tissues. She dabbed at her nose, then her eyes before speaking again.

"Julian, you can't hide your emotions from me, although I'll give you credit for trying." she started, breathing deep to stop the tears. Her efforts were all in vain, the more she thought about what he said to her, the more her eyes released large, sopping tears onto her lap. "I - I don't know what to say." she finally choked out.

She wanted to make a case out of him being her best friends' ex. She wanted to argue with him that he was her doctor, and he was crossing some kind of invisible line. But she couldn't. She didn't want to.

"It's alright," he said. "I didn't mean to make you so upset." He wiped her tears again gazing deep into her face.

"No, it's not that. I'm not... upset." she said, still trying to stifle the tears. "I'm just... overtaken with your emotion. And mine. I've never experienced this before..."


	10. Chapter 10

Kym could tell Captain Tulane was still standing to her left on the bridge of the _Defiant_ as they approached the station. Tulane's injury had been repaired and she spent most of her time quietly on the bridge since the journey home began. The two women had barely said two words to each other since they left Kurrill Prime, except to say hello and how are you. The formality of it was just enough; Kym didn't really know what else to say to her. After closing the portal which contained the man she loved, Kym didn't blame the Captain for being angry.

As for the Prime Directive, Kym wasn't really sure what would come of that. Surely, any consequence would be far less severe than the start of another war. At least, in her mind it was.

"Captain, the station is hailing us." Lieutenant Tenmei spoke, stirring Kym out of her thoughtfullness.

"On screen," Kym said, not getting up from her chair. Her hip ached. So did her head. She was happy to be home. Tulane didn't move, but focused her attention on the screen as well.

Kira's face immediately appeared on the screen with a huge smile. If she only knew what I did, Kym thought. She wouldn't be smiling like that.

"Welcome home, _Defiant_. I see your mission was a success. You're clear for docking, then I look forward to speaking with you, Commander."

"Thank you, Captain. I as well." Kym said. Actually, she wasn't looking forward to it. Not at all.

_Defiant_ slowly docked, securing her place at home. Kym dismissed the crew ashore and took a few moments to wait until the personnel were clear of the bridge. She savored the few moments before she delivered her report to the Captain. Just a few more moments before she was required to confess. Maybe she didn't make the right decision after all. She took a slight comfort in that Vaughn would back up her story and support her decision. After all, it was his idea to disrupt the power to the generators in the first place.

She stood slowly out of her chair, her hip clicking and grinding in place. Just as she turned to walk off the bridge, the aft doors slid open, revealing Bashir.

"You coming?" he asked quickly. Kym nodded. Just like him to wait around for her.

"Slowly." Julian laughed quietly at Kym's reluctance to board the station.

"Come on, let's fix that hip before you report to the principal's office," he joked. Suddenly, Kym felt even more guilty than she had back on Kurrill Prime.

"That'll leave Tulane plenty of time to tell on me," she said, taking Julian's outstretched hand and allowing him to lead her off the Defiant and out into the promenade.

* * *

"Captain, I appreciate your circumstance. And I'm glad you came to talk to me. But I can't take the type of complaint that you wish to deliver and you know that. You'll have to forward it to Internal Affairs," Kira said, holding up her hands in surrender. "But I assure you, my officer would never intend to hurt or kill anyone. And she certainly wouldn't choose to violate the Prime directive without a very good reason."

Tulane sat still in the chair across Kira's office. She sensed defensiveness from the Captain and empathized with it. She didn't want to report Commander Rzepka for the events on Kurill prime, but she felt it was her duty.

"Perhaps we can settle this here, with you. Where is the Commander?" Tulane said quietly. Kira sat back in her chair and folded her hands in her lap.

"The commander is still in surgery. She may not be available for the next few hours, I'm afraid," Kira said to the captain. "When is your ship scheduled to be here?"

"Three hours. Likely not enough time to have this settled." Tulane said with a sigh. "I guess I'll forward to Internal Affairs, then."

"Captain," Kira said quickly before the captain had a chance to stand and leave. "Let me tell you something about Commander Rzepka. She may be a little green, but she is one of the most intuitive and responsible people I know. She's not irrational. She's not devious. She was touched deeply by the Dominion War and would probably do anything to prevent another insurgence by the Dominion. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing if I were in her place. She's a good officer. Perhaps we should let this incident go. Just this once." Tulane stood in her place, looking Kira in the eyes.

"Captain," Tulane said. "Violation of the Prime Directive is not only prohibited by the Federation, but it shows a blatant disregard for authority. Any commanding officer that displays that type of disregard gives subordinate officers an impression that it's okay to break the rules. If we let that happen, we would have an entire fleet of rogue officers on our hands."

Kira could tell that Captain Tulane wasn't going to reason with her. She heaved a sigh again and looked back up at the captain, shaking her head.

"Well then. I guess your mind is already made up."

* * *

"Simon..." Julian breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"No problem," Dr. Simon Tarses replied to Julian. "You can go see her now if you want."

Julian walked quickly into the recovery suite, where Kym was already sitting up and going over her notes for her meeting with Captain Kira. She sensed Julian's presence and looked up, smiling.

"You missed the show..." she teased. Julian laughed and picked up a medical padd to check on her condition and the outcome of the surgery Dr. Tarses had just performed.

"It's quite alright. How's the hip?" he asked, placing the padd back down on the console. "Dr. Tarses said the surgery went well."

Kym laughed again, still feeling the tightness in her hip. "That's because he wasn't on the other end of it."

Julian grabbed a stool and pulled it close to Kym's side. "I appreciate you understanding about Tarses..." Kym held up her hand to silence him.

"It's really no problem. I think I'm starting to warm up to the guy actually." Kym smiled. She had never been fond of Dr. Tarses in the past. She always had problems trusting him. "I don't think I want you operating on me anyway. You haven't slept in days and you look like hell."

"Well, I can see your sense of humor has returned. So you must be feeling better." Julian grinned and shook his head.

"How's the Captain?" she asked. .

"She's fine. In fact, she was asking about you not too long ago. I told her once you were out of surgery, she could come see you." Julian explained.

"Why does she want to see me? She hates me." Kym admitted.

"She doesn't hate you..." Julian trailed off, thinking that if the Captain really did hate Kym, she wouldn't want to see her in the first place.

"Julian, I destroyed the only way for her to find her secret love." Kym explained. "It's straight out of a holonovel. If I were her, I'd hate me."

A nurse suddenly poked her head in the door.

"Commander Rzepka, Captain Tulane is wishing to see you."

"You can send her in." Kym said, sitting on the side of the bed. The blue surgical gown she was still wearing followed her legs and draped down to her ankles. She knew the Captain had been waiting to see her for quite some time. As the Captain walked in the door, Julian stood from his seat.

"I'll give you two some privacy. I'll be back shortly."

Julian walked quietly out of the room, acknowledging the Captain on his way out. There they stood, two Betazoids, all alone.

"Commander," the Captain started, taking a few steps to Kym's bed. "I needed to see you briefly before my transport left. I apologize for the intrusion."

"It's alright," Kym replied, sensing a feeling of sadness from the Captain. "What can I do for you, Captain?"

"I wanted to let you know that I understand the decisions you made back on Kurrill. I can't say if I was in your place, I wouldn't have done the same. You have an impressive Starfleet record, Commander. You've done very well since I saw you last on the Excelsior. And congratulations on your Christopher Pike."

"Thank you, sir," Kym said, remember receiving the award on Earth several months ago after solving a string of Starfleet Intelligence murders.

"You are a member of the Seventh House, aren't you?" the captain said with a smile.

Kym paused for a moment, reading the captain's intentions. The Seventh House of Betazed, a social class built on the intentions of courageous Betazoid ancestors. The House of Courage. She hadn't met too many Betazoids in the fleet. Kym slowly nodded.

"My father was a Nuddari. Both my parents are direct descendants of the Elders of the Seventh." Kym said.

"It shows in you." Tulane said, still smiling. "I'm sure you bring your parents great joy and honor." She placed her hand over her own heart. "Thirteenth."

The Thirteenth House of Betazed was the House of Peace and Protection. Kym could easily see those qualities in the Captain.

Kym blushed and grinned, her smile quickly fading when she thought about Kurrill. "I'm sorry for what had to be done. I'm especially sorry about Commander McPherson."

Tulane nodded, not saying anything. She didn't have to. Her regret and sadness filled Kym's mind, unrelenting to the situation

"I need to be going. Thank you again." she said. "Oh, and about the doctor?"

Kym furrowed her eyebrows at the Captain while she exuded a feeling of excitement for Kym. "What about him?"

"Don't let that one go. Tell him how you feel. Now." she said quietly, grinning and placing her hand on Kym's for a moment. "Take care, Yesera."

_Yesera_. Kym hadn't heard the Betazoid word for "friend" in a long time.

"You as well, Yesera."

As the Captain left, she could see the situation more clearly. She didn't want what happened to Tulane to happen to her. The Captain had never told McPherson how she felt about him- after all that time. She was determined not to let her fate turn out like the Captain's.

A few moments after the Captain left, Julian walked back in with a padd in his hand. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah..." Kym trailed off. She suddenly felt her heart rate pick up and her palms get clammy. "Julian?"

The doctor looked up from his padd and upon seeing the distraught look on Kym's face, dropped the pad onto the panel top and walked to her bedside. She reached out for his hand and took it in hers.

"What's wrong?" he asked, obviously worried.

"I... think I'm in love with you, too."


	11. Chapter 11

Kym marinated quietly on her sofa in her quarters, reading the evening's security report. She hadn't undressed out of her uniform yet, but instead propped her legs up on the coffee table to relieve some of the pain in her hips and pelvis. The meeting with Captain Kira had gone much better than she expected and her hip was feeling much better than the day prior. It had been a long few days and her body was near the limit. She was exhausted.

_Still_.

She knew it was late but she didn't care. She had so much on her mind she couldn't think about sleeping. The security report gave her something to distract herself, a reprieve, but she couldn't stop thinking about what Julian told her back on the _Defiant_. Since also hearing his thoughts and connecting with him on a level that she didn't understand, she was left wondering if Julian was her imzadi.

She also couldn't believe she told him that she thought she loved him two days ago. _What was I thinking?!_ she wondered to herself.

She knew that when an imzadi came along, it shouldn't be ignored. The one destined love of a Betazoid, the one true "beloved" person of a telepath could come along at any time and one couldn't control it. The imzadi was a person that a telepath could connect with on a subconcious level.

Could that person really be Juilan? She didn't know. She needed to find out.

As if on cue, her door chime rang. Her stomach jumped into her throat as she looked up, thinking about ignoring the chime. She didn't know if she wanted to see him right now. She inched her way out of her seat into a standing position. If she didn't answer, she might never know the answer to her question.

"Come in," she quietly and calmly said.

The doors slid open and the doctor stepped gingerly inside.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you. I just..." Julian started. Kym sensed his nervousness.

"...had to see me." she finished his sentence. He nodded. "Please come sit. We need to talk."

They both sat on her sofa, looking at each other. Kym began first.

"Julian, when I was able to hear your thoughts back on Kurrill, I didn't know what to think. It frightened me, to be honest. I've never been able to hear the thoughts of a non-telepath before." Kym said. "But now, it's all kind of making sense to me. " She took hold of his hand and looked deep into his eyes, not explaining what she was doing. She tried to project her thoughts into him and have him accept her voice. If he couldn't hear her, then her answers would be revealed.

_"Squeeze my hand if you can hear me speaking to you, Julian."_ She closed her eyes slowly and carefully pushed her thoughts out to him as hard as she could._ "Please hear me."_

Kym nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt Julian squeeze her hand. She flashed opened her eyes wide with surprise and felt a familiar sting in her nose.

_STOP CRYING!_ she sternly scolded herself. _STOP IT!_

"It's alright," Julian said gently. "If you need to cry, do it. Sometimes it helps... sort things out." Kym looked at him with surprise again. She released his hand and stood a little too quickly, walking to the window and gazing out like she'd done a hundred times before when she wasn't sure what to think.

She sighed a heavy breath, concentrating on one speck of light. "I think... I think this is deeper than you or I realize."

"What do you mean?" Julian asked. He was truly interested in hearing more, but Kym wasn't sure how to say it.

"Do you know what an imdazi is?" she asked, not expecting him to answer.

"Sure I do. I've studied a great deal on Betazoid relationships. It's the person that not only loves another, but touches their soul. They are connected on a... telepathic... level, even if only one has true telepathic... abilities... " His struggle to get the words out confirmed that he also started to understand the depth of the situation. His nervousness grew as he forced out his next thought. "Do you think that I'm your... _imdazi_?"

"I don't know, Julian. I don't know if we're truly connected or if this is typical of a relationship. I've never been in a real relationship before. I've not much experience, I'm afraid."

Julian stood and approached Kym at the window. He touched her waist with his hand, sending flutters up her stomach and into her throat. She turned to face him, mere inches from where he was standing. He was at least six inches taller than her, so she literally looked up into his eyes, which were looking down at her.

She reached up with her hand and touched his forehead with her fingertips, right above his right eyebrow, letting her thoughts wander and getting lost in his consciousness. Her fingers gently brushed over his right temple and down the sides of his face. She suddenly felt the love he held in his heart for her - it had been there a long time. Even before Ezri left the station. He had loved her for more than a few months like he originally professed and felt a great deal of guilt for it.

Breathing deep, she closed her eyes, letting herself fall deeper into his consciousness. She experienced his fear of rejection, his hatred of losing control, and his relentless loneliness. She wrapped herself around his emotions, taking them into her soul, making them part of her. Amid her viscosity, he whispered into her ear "Are you alright?"

"I'm lost inside you. Immersed in your consciousness. Surrounded by your emotions. I can't... believe... I can connect with you... this way." she confessed, opening her eyes. His face was soft. "Even on a subconscious level."

She placed the other hand on his left cheek, drawing his forehead to hers. Again, she pressed herself into him, but this time, she projected her own consciousness into his. She pressed her emotions, her memories, her fears, her desires... everything... into him. When she suddenly felt a feeling of relaxation come over him, she knew that he was also being immersed in her. She couldn't believe how easy it was to connect with him on this type of level.

After several minutes, he reached up with both hands and gently grasped her wrists. Her lowered her hands from his face, opening his eyes and looking at her face.

"I... you... we... " he stammered. He didn't know what to say. Or think.

"I know," she confessed with a nod. her voice was soft and dreamy. "I know."

"I should... I should go... " he stammered again, knowing his entire consciousness had been revealed to Kym. He wasn't ready for her to know how long he had loved her... or all of his deepest emotions.

"Or... you could stay" Kym quietly suggested. She senseed a feeling of excitement from him, a feeling of adventure, and a feeling of dread all at once. She hoped her suggestion wouldn't move things along too fast.

He didn't say a word. He approached her again, this time taking her face in his hands and pressing his lips into hers, kissing her with the passion he had been hiding inside many months. She kissed him back, losing herself again with him. She felt a flip in her stomach and willed herself not to throw up right then. It would be more than awkward, she decided.

He pulled back from the kiss and looked her in the eyes again, surveying for any signs of resistance. Nothing.

He unzipped her tunic, revealing her black undershirt and the black leather weapon harness wrapping itself securely around her shoulders. She took an unsolicited deep breath, letting it cleanse any doubt that she had about him.

She reached to his shoulder, letting her fingers brush over the gray wool surface of his Starfleet uniform. She pulled the zipper of his jacket the same way he had, but she pulled his jacket over his shoulders and down his arms, revealing his turquoise uniform undershirt. She unzipped that, too, revealing his bare chest. She placed her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat through his sternum. It was beating fast, almost fluttering. She faintly smiled, enjoying the confirmation of the physical reaction to his deep emotion. He placed his hand over her hand, feeling overwhelmed by the situation.

"We... don't have to..." he started to say. She looked at him and grinned. _Too late..._ she thought.

"I think... we already have."

* * *

Kym turned her head to look at his sleeping face. He was dreaming, but she couldn't figure what the dream was about. He looked peaceful. Kym propped her head on her elbow, pulling the sheet higher to cover her body. She let a small grin over come her face with the thought of what happened the night before.

Julian must have felt her looking at him, because he suddenly opened his eyes and looked at her with a contented sigh. A sleepy smile came over his face when he realized that he was in bed with Kym.

"Good morning." he said softly. Kym couldn't' figure out where his accent came from, but she always thought it was delightful.

"Morning."

They stared at each other for a moment before Julian invited Kym to lay closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her as she settled her head on his chest. She breathed deep, relaxing into him.

"Julian?" Kym finally asked.

"Yes?"

"How many women have you been with?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Julian said with a small laugh.

"An honest one." Kym replied.

"Including you... five."

Kym thought it would have been many more than that. She knew that it wasn't uncommon for human males to have many partners in their lifetime.

Four. One being Ezri. Another being Leeta, a former Dabo girl who ended up marrying Nog's father, Rom. She lived with him on Ferengenar now.

"Who's the fourth?"

"Cerise Closson. I met her in Paris before I went to Medical School. I gave her up for a career in Starfleet."

"Oh." Kym said quietly.

"How about you?"

Kym gave him a look, attempting to avoid the question.

"What?"

"How many partners have you had?"

"Including you..." Kym took a long pause. "Two."

"Two?"

"It's different for Betazoids. It takes a lot for us to open ourselves up to a partner." Kym explained. "And we don't even reach sexual maturity until our fourth decade."

Julian lay there in silence, with Kym in his arms. He felt her body heat on his skin. He wanted to ask, but hesitated.

"Jonathan Meadows." Kym suddenly said. "Back when we were at Intelligence Training. It didn't work out though."

"Meadows... wasn't he - " Julian started to ask, but stopped himself.

"He was my partner. It was a mistake." Kym said quickly. The memory of Jonathan's death still haunted her. He had been murdered by Section 31 a few months ago.

Julian took another sigh, holding her tighter. He never wanted to get out of her bed, but needed to be on duty in an hour. He kissed the top of her head, breathing in deep, taking in the sweet smell of her hair. "I need to get up. I'm on duty this morning."

"Me, too." Kym said as she sat up, letting Julian get up. She watched as he got dressed, not wanting to get up herself. She knew the moment she stood, the pain would start, just like every other day.

She bit the bullet and rose from her bed, pulling on her white silk nightgown. She made her way out to the bathroom before Julian finished dressing, hoping he didn't notice her limp.


	12. Chapter 12

Senior officers ambled out of the wardroom as Kym slowly stood from her chair, gathering her padds to leave. Routine staff meetings rarely happened so quickly as the one that day, much to Kym's relief. She and Julian had sat across the table from each other and tried to forget everything other than their jobs while seated at the table. It was difficult for both of them.

"Commander Rzepka," Nerys projected across the conference room as everyone filed out. "Have time for coffee?"

"For you, Captain, always." Kym replied with a smile. She hadn't spent any time with Nerys in nearly two weeks so her invitation was welcome.

"Let's take a walk," she suggested. Kym nodded and walked through the wardroom doors with Nerys toward a turbolift.

"Promenade." Nerys said to the computer, which replied with a beep. The lift started moving slowly as Nerys didn't waste too much time bringing up what was on her mind.

"So, not to pry into your business, but you and... the doctor?"

Kym snapped her face up to look at Nerys in the eye. She couldn't believe what she had just heard.

"The look of horror on your face confirms my suspicion." Nerys said with a smile on her face.

"Computer, pause turbolift." Kym said. The lift abruptly stopped. Kym stared at the captain's face for evidence of something. Anything. Finally she spoke in a low voice. "How did you know about that?"

"Kym. I've known Julian a long time. I've seen the way he looks at you and how you never seem to notice. This morning... that look was different. And you BOTH had it. I merely put the pieces together."

Kym stood in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say next. She looked at Nerys in the eye, sensing happiness and a little bit of concern.

"You assume correctly." Kym finally admitted. They both stood in silence again, Nerys picking up on Kym's discomfort. She turned her attention back to the computer in the lift. "Promenade."

"Kym, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried. It's just that... I wouldn't have guessed that the two of you..." Nerys stammered. She felt horrible about intruding on Kym's private space.

"Me neither." Kym said quietly. She looked at Nerys with worry in her eyes. "It's all been rather... sudden."

Before the two had a chance to continue their conversation, the lift stopped, opening the doors to the promenade. They made their way to the replimat, both getting drinks from the replicator and finding a table in the corner away from the crowd. As they sat, Kym took a heavy sigh and began to speak.

"Nerys," Kym started, looking at the captain's soft face, searching for the words to say. "He's... different."

"How?" Nerys said with doubt in her voice, sitting back in her chair and sipping her raktijino.

"He can hear my thoughts." Kym said quietly. Nerys' eyebrows furrowed as she sat forward in her chair and put her cup down.

"What do you mean?"

"He is... connected... to me somehow." Kym said. "I've heard of it happening... between a Betazoid and a Human... but during all the time I've been the minority among humans, I've never had it happen to me before now."

Kym explained the imdazi theory to Nerys, who sat in disbelief.

"That's... amazing." Nerys finally concluded, still in shock over what she'd heard.

"And frightening." Kym admitted. Suddenly, she lost her appetite for her coffee in the cup on the table. Another long silence surrounded the women as they both contemplated.

"Does he love you?" Nerys finally asked. Kym looked at her and smiled.

"Very much."

"Do you feel the same?" Nerys pressed.

The previous nights' events came streaming back to her - the telepathic connection, the physical closeness. She knew she wouldn't have gone through those things if she didn't love him.

"I don't really know." Kym said. "I think I might."

* * *

Kym Rzepka walked hastily into the ward room, where Captain Kira sat with Admiral Michael Hennessy, the Director of Starfleet Military Operations. They both looked sullen and serious.

"Admiral," Kym said in slight surprise, holding out her hand. Hennessy took her hand and shook it briefly. "It's good to see you again."

"Have a seat, Commander." Kira said quietly as both Kym and the admiral sat. The room swallowed them up, surrounding them with tension. Kym suddenly felt very nervous.

"Commander Rzepka, I read over your report. I'm here to talk to you about the Iconian Gateway you found on Kurrill Prime," the Admiral started. "Explain to me again what happened to the gateway."

Kym carefully explained every detail about the gateway, including the information about McPherson's disappearance, his supposed involvement with the Orion Syndicate, and the size of the stretch of worlds involved with the output of the portal. She explained since the Orion Syndicate had knowledge of the portal, she found Starfleet's best interest to be with the portal destroyed.

"Tell me bout the Vorta." the Admiral pressed.

"What about them?" Kym sat back in her chair, crossing her legs.

"Tell me how many died in the blast." The admiral pressed. Kym looked over at Kira who sat straight faced. She nodded at Kym in a motion to proceed.

"None of them died in the actual blast, sir. When the portal was destroyed, the integrity of the cave was compromised. The three Vorta appeared in the area of the final blast when a part of the cave wall fell on them. Their death was an indirect result of the blast and accidental, sir."

"Did you have permission from Starfleet Command or SI to destroy the gateway, Commander?" the admiral pressed.

"No, sir." Kym replied curtly.

"Did you receive an amendment to your orders on Kurrill Prime then?" he asked.

"No, sir." Kym replied again with a small exasperated sigh.

"Then why did you destroy the Gateway?"

Kym sat in contemplation for a moment, glancing at Kira. She could feel the sides of her face getting hot and her hands already felt shaky. She knew this wasn't going to end well.

"Sir, I know you are familiar with the Gateway crisis which occurred a few years ago," Kym started. "Starfleet ordered all of the Iconian Gateways closed, which we thought was accomplished. When we found this gateway, and subsequently learned that the Orion Syndicate had knowledge of its existence, I decided that Starfleet's best interest was to destroy the gateway. During the time it would take Defiant to contact DS9 and for Starfleet to get a command team out to the gateway, Orion Syndicate could have already had an operative on the ground. It could have been too late."

"Commander Rzepka," the admiral said slowly, shifting his weight and picking up a padd. "Due to the seriousness of the situation that you just confirmed, Starfleet Command wishes to fulfill a complete investigation after concerns were raised about a violation of the Prime Directive. You are hereby placed on administrative leave pending the investigation. You rank is hereby demoted to Lieutenant Commander and will be notified of any upcoming hearings or proceedings against your case."

"My case?" Kym said quickly with panic growing in her voice. "_What_ case?"

"We have received a concern that you directly and knowingly violated the Prime Directive on Kurrill Prime."

_Tulane_. Kym immediately thought about Captain Tulane. How dare she file a complaint with SFC after she had said all of those kind things.

"Sir, with all due respect, I-" Kym started with a panicked voice.

"Commander, as your official counsel, I advice that you maintain silence until the investigation is complete," Kira interrupted quickly. Kym looked at her with disbelief in her eyes, but she could tell that Kira was on her side.

Kym stood out of her chair at attention in front of her superior officers.

"Yes, sir." Kym said. The admiral stood as well.

"You're dismissed."

Kym turned and walked briskly out of the wardroom and into opps. She didn't look at anyone as she stormed through the deck, but she felt Commander Vaughn and Julian's gaze on her. As she entered the lift, she noticed Commander Vaughn entering the ward room. Perhaps he was next on the chopping block.

"Habitat ring, section H." Kym said with disdain in her voice. She felt the sting of tears welling up in her eyes as the lift disappeared out of sight.

A few moments later, Kym found herself packing a bag in her quarters. The chime at the door interrupted her wallow.

"Come in." she said curtly. Julian Bashir walked into her quarters and stood in the living room. He noticed Kym's comm badge on the coffee table, along with three gold pips. Her black and gray uniform was sling over a chair. Kym was dressed in civilian clothes, which made Julian feel even more nervous.

"Kym, what's going on?"

"Tulane ratted me out, just like I told you she would. Admin leave, effective until further notice," Kym angrily snapped, not looking up at him. "Demotion. Probably Court Marshall."

"What?!" Julian said, moving closer to Kym.

"This is it, Julian. If I'm not dismissed from the fleet, I'm resigning my commission. I'm done. I'm done with the secrecy, I'm done with the lies... I'm done with the ridiculousness," She said with a shaky voice, throwing pieces of clothing into her bag with each word. She could feel her stomach tying itself into a knot as they spoke.

"What did they say?" Julian asked again, leaning on the back of the sofa. He gazed into her bedroom - the bed room where he shared intimate moments with her just two days ago.

"They are investigating a concern that I violated the Prime Directive, which I did." Kym affirmed. "Short-sighted admirals will bring the evidence against me and I guarantee I'll lose my commission. Should make it a little easier to transition out of the fleet."

"Wait," Julian said, grabbing her arm. She stopped packing and looked up at him. "You prevented a possible war. That should count for something."

"_No_, Julian. I practically started one. I killed three Vorta." She felt dizzy when she thought about what she had done.

"What about Vaughn? He will back up your case, won't he?"

"Vaughn!" Kym laughed, pulling her arm out of his grasp. "I don't know. He's in there right now. For all I know, he'll walk scott free on this. He ALWAYS seems to get away with shit like this. Whenever Vaughn screws something up, he always his hand slapped and walks away." She stopped packing and caught sight of the ship on the table - the one she recorded for her mother. "No," she said. "Vaughn won't back me up. He'll never miss an opportunity to teach me a lesson."

"Where are you going? Why are you packing?" Julian asked frantically, feeling his stomach tie itself in a knot.

"I'm going to Bajor. I've got to get out of here. Maybe I'll volunteer at the monestery or the B'hala caves. Lord knows, they need help." Kym said. "The investigation will take at least a week, maybe two. There is a transport leaving in an hour."

_"Infirmary to Doctor Bashir."_ Julian's comm badge suddenly activated. He heaved a sigh and answered, pinching the bridge of his nose the way he always did when he was frustrated.

"Go ahead."

_"I have a discharge that is waiting for your signature, sir."_

"Right. I'll be right there."

Julian looked at Kym as she continued to pack. He knew he couldn't convince her to stay.

"I have your Drexa. It came in this morning. Come by and get it before you leave?" he asked. She looked up and nodded before he turned and left her quarters.


	13. Chapter 13

"It's a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal." ―Steve Maraboli

"Sir, I was not expecting you to relieve her of duty..." Vaughn trailed off. The guilt he felt for filing the complaint with Starfleet Command was crushing, even with the instruction of his plan. "Honestly, in the grand scheme of things..."

"What were you expecting, Mr. Vaughn?" Admiral Hennessy said with a scowl on his face. "These accusations are serious, you know."

Vaughn glared at the dark-haired, dark-skinned Admiral. Hennessy was at least thirty years younger than Vaughn, but eluded the aura that he was much more experienced. "I am expecting to to teach her a lesson. and I realize how serious the accusations are. I thought we had an understanding."

When Vaughn had delivered the complaint to Admiral Hennessy about Rzepka's behavior on Kurrill and about the violation of the Prime Directive, he merely intended to teach her what it meant to make a hard decision and face the consequences. She knew what it was like to make a moral decision and get away with it - now it was time to see the other side.

"She'll learn a lesson. I promise you that. However, I cannot dictate what a panel of my peers will think should this go to court marshall." Hennessy shot back. "Besides, she could probably use a little time off anyway."

"Court Marshall!?" Kira suddenly piped up. "You really think this will go that far?"

Marshall sighed, thinking about the accusations and the evidence. "Without the Vorta contesting the gateway was, in fact, a temple to their gods, the Prime Directive accusation could be dropped. The manslaughter charge is merely that - accidental death. Those types of charges are dropped all the time, especially for an intelligence operative."

"But you can't stop the investigators from uncovering more than circumstantial evidence," Kira said quietly. The admiral nodded his head. Kira felt her hairs on her arm stand on end. She second guessed her agreement to go long with Vaughn's plan. She should have said no.

"Try not to worry too much, Captain. I don't think you'll be replacing your Military Analyst anytime soon," Hennessy grinned, finally easing the tension in the room.

"What about the demotion?" Vaughn suddenly asked.

"I'll revoke when the charges are dropped. Having a demotion will help her think a bit more about what she did. Might help ease the lesson along." Hennessy said. He started feeling more sympathy for the situation upon seeing the concern in Vaughn and Kira. "Please. Don't worry too much. When this is over, she'll be glad we did it."

Kira wasn't comforted by Hennessy's words. In fact, she was even more worried now.

* * *

Kym stood in front of the infirmary doors with her tan bag slung over her shoulder. She almost didn't want to go in. If she didn't need the Drexa, she would just slip off the station without anyone noticing. She had already talked to Captain Kira about going to Bajor. She already notified security that her quarters would be vacant until further notice. This was the last thing to do. She didn't want to say goodbye, not knowing how long she would be gone.

She stepped forward, immediately seeing Julian sitting at the console, studying intently. He immediately looked up and upon seeing her, he stood quickly.

"Ready to go?" he said quietly, approaching her. She slowly nodded.

"Almost," she said.

Julian motioned for Kym to follow him. Into his office they walked quietly, where he entered a code on the control panel on his desk and opening one of the drawers. He lifted a yellow vial in a clear box out of the drawer.

"Just one?" he reluctantly asked.

"For now," Kym replied. "If I'm longer than a week, I'll come back for another."

Julian held out the box, which Kym took and immediately put into her bag. "Kym," he started. "This is all going to work out."

Kym stood silent. She didn't know that it was going to work out, but Julian was desperately convincing himself, so she played along.

"I'm sure it will," she lied.

Julian approached her and placed his hand on her left cheek, moving his hand behind her neck. He drew her close to his face and kissed her gently on the lips. She kissed him back, relishing in the intimate moment.

Julian leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. Kym could sense his frustration and sadness. "You sure I can't convince you to stay?"

Kym sighed. She closed her eyes too, breathing in his essence and savoring the last few moments she had with him for a while. "I need to find some clarity, Julian. I need to make some sense of what's going on here. With me. With you."

"Be careful out there," he whispered in her ear. "And I hope you find what you're looking for."

She nodded, kissing him again quickly on the lips. "I'm always careful, remember?" she said with a grin. "I'll call you when I get there."

When she stepped over the threshold of the transport to Bajor, she felt a bang of sadness. _This is no way to start a relationship, Kym,_ she thought to herself. _You can't just run from your problems, you know. You can't just... leave... all the time._

* * *

The sun shone brightly on her face as she walked up the path to the Shikina monastery. The rocky path crunched under her feet, her bag's strap dug into her shoulder. She didn't know where she was going, but she was determined to keep walking until she found... something. The path was long - perhaps more than two kilometers - and she was already tired. Tall green trees surrounded her, broken by streams and rocks. The temple's garden was beautiful and stretched on as far as she could see.

She could almost still feel Julian's kiss on her lips. It tingled in her soul, it rustled her consciousness. She thought about him constantly during the two hour ride to Bajor. She wished she knew what love really was. Her human counterparts had much more experience than she did - with no wonder. They all reached sexual maturity by age 16 or 17. Humans were notorious for exploring love by first exploring sexuality. Kym couldn't take that road - she still had at least nine years until she reached her own maturity. How was she supposed to know love on the same level as a human?

The sun's rays streamed through the branches of the dense trees. In the distance, Kym could hear rustling of leaves and rushing of water. Life was all around her in this place. She breathed in the clean, unfiltered air. It filled her lungs with relief and cleanliness.

Her mind wandered back to Julian. He had already been with so many other women. She was so inexperienced and young, at least by Betazoid standards. She hoped by being away from him for a short amount of time, that she would see the situation a little clearer.

Besides, a little meditation would be really good for her right now.

She continued to walk slowly. The sun dipped below the tops of the trees, casting an orange light on the areas through the trees. Evening was approaching quickly and she still had no idea where she was going. she looked to the sky for an answer when she felt a familiar presence behind her.

"Are you lost?"

The voice - it boomed a deep, resilient sound. She knew this voice. She stopped in her tracks and turned. As surprised as she was to see him, he was equally surprised to see her. His tall dark frame was topped with a face that she had missed so much. The sun cast a glare on his bald head.

Kym swallowed hard. She suddenly knew she was where she needed to be. She let her head bob in a slow nod. Her voice finally found it's way to the surface of her soul and tumbled out of her mouth.

"I'm afraid I am."

A grin appeared across the man's face. His mouth was framed in dark facial hair, just like she remembered.

"Well then," his soft voice christened her ears with new life. "You've come to the right place."


	14. Chapter 14

Kym took another sip of her Deka Tea and looked up at the Emissary. His glimmering eyes focused on her intently, waiting for her to speak. The fire between them flickered calmly and two Vedeks conversed quietly across the room. She struggled to find the words to say.

"I'm thankful to see you again, Captain," she started. And she was. Captain Sisko had been a tremendous source of advice and direction for her in her earliest years aboard Deep Space Nine. Since he had been gone, she had been a bit lost.

He held up his hand quietly from his seated position. "It's just... Ben... now." He smiled a warm smile that could fill an entire room with comfort. "And I'm thankful to see you. You're walking with the grace of an Altonian Crane. I take the Doctor's efforts have been successful."

"Yes, sir," Kym started, smiling. "I received a stem cell transplant which rebuilt my spine. In less than a year, I will be running marathons again."

He held up his tea cup in a toast, to which Kym responded by holding up hers. "Excellent news. You deserve it."

"And how is Kassidy? And the baby?" Kym asked curiously, feeling her awkwardness ease with each word.

"Both well and a blessing to the family," he said with a big grin. "They both bring so much joy."

A long pause filled the room before the Emissary - Ben - spoke again.

"You didn't come here for small talk, did you?" While his accusation was true, Kym didn't exactly know how to tell him what happened that led her to come to Bajor.

"I did something stupid," she said, lowering her gaze to the cup in her hand. Only a few sips of tea remained in her cup and she decided to savor it, thinking it would be a longer conversation than she thought.

"….. and you came seeking clarity. Did you get caught?" Ben concluded. Kym's head jerked up at him, surprised that he guessed she had been, in fact, caught.

She finally blurted out the entire story. It came streaming out of her body like a river and she felt relieved to have someone unbiased to listen. She even told him about her unhappiness with Starfleet and her wish to resign. He listened intently and nodded every so often.

"I understand your frustration," he said. "But... there's something more."

"What do you mean?" she asked, feeling nervous that he was right.

"Well," he started, looking off into the distance. "One usually does not seek clarity on something out of their own control. If you are court marshalled and lose your commission, you still can't control that. If you don't, your resignation will be on Kira's desk. You can't control that. So..." he trailed off, taking another sip of his tea, emptying his white ceramic cup. "There is something more."

Kym sat in silence again. Why was this so hard?

"There is... someone... that I don't understand..." she started, realizing she said "someone" and not "something."

"Ah ha!" Ben exclaimed a little too loudly. Both Vedeks from across the room picked their heads up to look at what the commotion was. Ben lowered his voice. "You're in love," he practically whispered with a grin.

Kym let a small laugh escape her face. "I'm not even sure what to say to that."

"Who is he?" Ben asked casually, looking into his tea cup. He was disappointed his tea was gone. Kym looked at his face, wishing she had seen it just two weeks prior. She still didn't understand why he never came back to Starfleet after his disappearance to be with the Prophets. Deep Space Nine needed him.

Kym swallowed hard, avoiding the question. Ben had known Julian much longer than she had. She kept staring into her cup, not answering. She suddenly felt the familiar sting of tears again in her eyes, thinking she had no reason to feel ashamed of her feelings for Julian. She somehow didn't think Ben would approve.

"Hm," he grunted. "Must be serious if you don't want to talk about it."

Kym heaved a sigh and looked up at him. The firelight cast an eerie yellow glow on his face, his dark clothes and the walls of the room. The marble floor under her shone with the light. Her small voice projected the truth about why she was sitting in front of him. "Julian Bashir."

"Ohhhhh..." he breathed. His drawn out voice sent chills down her spine. She sensed nothing from him, as she had the entire time they had been sitting there. No disapproval. No judgement. He merely leaned back on his hands, looking concerned. "This _is_ serious."

* * *

Weeds. So many weeds. The bright Bajoran suns shone on Kym's messy hair. The sweat on her brow started to drift into her eye when she propped her rake up under her arm, standing straight and breathing deep. A swipe of her sleeve on her eye and she was back to raking weeds.

The temple path stretched out gracefully beside her, shimmering in the light. The two days she had already spent on Bajor had been cleansing and fulfilling. She felt relieved to have her worries lifted away, if only temporary. The rake, however, had other plans for her. It planned to work her to the bone, laughing at each stubborn weed that dared to wander into it's path of little destruction.

"I knew I'd find you here."

A familiar voice suddenly found her ears. She lifted her head, held to the wood handle of her rake, and slowly turned her head.

"Good morning."

Kira stepped carefully over the edge of the path into the bare dirt. The rocks and dust already covered her black boots. She stepped her way in front of Kym, quietly taking her place in front of the rake.

"Morning. How's it going?" she said with a soft voice. Kym knew she had already been inside the temple and was coming for a short visit before she left for the station.

"Well. I'm eating and sleeping better than I have in... well... since before the war, I guess," Kym shrugged. "How's the investigation going?" She picked the rake back up and continued clawing at the dirt, not really working but attempting to look busy. She wasn't terribly interested in chatting.

"Progressing quickly," Kira admitted. She furrowed her eyebrow when Kym looked back up again briefly.

"Court Marshall?" Kym asked half-hearted.

Kira let out a small sigh and nodded her head in return. "Looks like it."

Kym continued to claw at the dirt with her rake without saying another word. She knew a Court Marshall was in her future but simply did not want to think about it while spending her quiet time at the temple.

"I'm sure you didn't come her to deliver that news, Nerys," Kym mumbled, not looking up from the dirt. _Rake, rake rake. Poke, poke, poke._

"No," Kira started. "I came to say that I support you completely through all of this. I'll represent you during any Court Marshall that might come up. I'm going to do everything I can to help you. So if you need anything, please let me know."

Kym nodded. She stared into Kira's brown eyes and blinked. Her mind felt numb to their conversation. _Out of my control,_ she thought to herself. I _cannot fret things I cannot control. _

"Thank you, Captain," was all Kym could muster out of her mouth. She didn't have the heart to tell Kira about her planned resignation. She just wanted to get back to work.

As if on cue, Kira nodded her head and turned. Her dusty footsteps eventually disappeared into the path, down into the thick woods. Kym got back to work, lifting each weed with precision. Pushing the conversation inside, she concentrated on her job until the sun set into the horizon and she retreated into the monastery for the evening meal.


	15. Chapter 15

Kym Rzepka's feet firmly planted themselves on the carpeted floor of the wardroom. Admiral John Branson, Captain Kira, and the entire senior staff were present at the court proceedings. Over the past three days, the trial had passed without a hiccup. Two other admirals sat with Admiral Branson, the judge advocate general, at the head of the table. Kym sat at the other end, the staff filled out each side.

Kym's palms were sweaty as she sat waiting for the proceedings to begin. It had been a long week of evidence presentation, with Captain Kira standing in as her advocate. She knew that Captain Kira presented the evidence the best she could, but Kym couldn't help but wonder if the odds were stacked against her.

"The defendant shall rise for verdict." The admiral's voice boomed over the heads of the staff. The hair on Kym's arms stood on end as chills streamed down her body.

Kym and Kira both rose to their feet. They both stood at attention before the judge, who was also standing. The two other board members remained seated. The each filled out red command admiral's uniforms, a stark contrast to the black and gray uniforms scattered around the table.

"Kymberli Rzepka, the charges brought against you today include direct violation of the prime directive and second degree murder. Do you understand these charges?" the judge advocate general started.

"Yes, sir." Kym replied curtly.

"These charges could bring dismissal from the fleet or a prison sentence. Do you understand these consequences?"

"Yes, sir." Kym replied again. She felt her knees getting shaky. From the room, she felt nervousness from everyone, especially Julian. The table's white light illuminating from the tabletop lit up the faces of her colleagues. The ones she felt she let down.

"All evidence has been presented in this court to the best of the defense and prosecution. The panel has deliberated for 23 hours. Panel, have you reached a verdict on these charges?"

A woman dressed in a fleet admiral's uniform stood with a padd in her hand. Her face was completely emotionless.

"We have, sir."

"Please read the verdict aloud for the court."

"On the charge of murder in the second degree, we find the defendant not guilty." The admiral read slowly off the padd. Kira breathed a sigh of relief with Kym. Kym was suddenly overcome with a sense of dread and she knew what was coming. Worst possible case.

"On the charge of violation of the prime directive, we find the defendant guilty."

The words echoed in her ear. They punched her consciousness They stung her soul. She closed her eyes momentarily as she swallowed hard. Her stomach jumped into her throat, trying to escape her trembling body. Maybe she misunderstood what the admiral said. Perhaps... she didn't hear the admiral correctly.

The admiral who read the verdict took her seat quietly. The advocate general drew a deep breath before he spoke.

"Kymberli Rzepka, you have been found guilty by a panel of judges of a Prime Directive violation. Do you understand this conviction?" he said.

"Yes, sir," she forced out of her mouth. She didn't even recognize her own voice.

"Then on behalf of the Starfleet Judge Advocate Council and the United Federation of Planets, I hereby revoke your commission in the fleet and all privileges and decorations therein. This judgement and conviction of violation of the Prime Directive has been made in this court of law and abides by Starfleet regulations. You are to turn in all standard issue weapons, uniforms, and equipment to your commanding officer within 24 hours." the advocate said. "Do you understand this sentence?"

Kym closed her eyes as he spoke. She couldn't believe the words she was hearing. _Don't cry,_ she told herself. _Not now. _Visions of the past week on Bajor flashed in her head. The words of Benjamin Sisko echoed in her ears.

_"No matter what happens, take it with grace. If they kick you out, or keep you in. If you stay with him or part from him. No matter what, take it with grace."_

"Yes... sir," she forced out again. She knew the next word out of her mouth would unleash her emotion and disassemblecomposure. She stood at attention as still as she could, thinking maybe if she moved, she would faint.

"I hereby dismiss the judge panel and thank them for their service. This remainder of this court is hereby dismissed."

Kym stood still as Kira placed a hand on her shoulder. Neither of them spoke as Kym turned and walked quietly out the door, leaving her stunned friends in the wardroom. She needed to get out of there.

Not two seconds after she entered the corridor, Julian came after her.

"Kym, wait."

She stopped in her tracks, not turning or moving. Julian suddenly appeared in front of her, placing a hand on each of her shoulders.

"Whatever you're going to say won't change this." she said quietly. She felt nauseated with the thought of going back into the ward room.

"I just... don't want you to be alone... right now." Julian said quietly. As Julian spoke, Commander Vaughn passed and turned to face Kym with a grim look on his face.

"I'm so sorry, Kid." was all he said. Kym felt a pang of anger well up in her stomach. Her temper flared and her head pounded in her temples.

"Sorry? You're SORRY? No. Commander... but we are WAY past sorry at this point." She sneered.

"Please, don't do this," Vaughn practically whispered.

"Do what? I don't owe you a goddamn thing, especially forgiveness. You let a decorated officer take the heat for something that YOU cosigned. As far as I'm concerned, you're just as guilty, but will Starfleet see it that way? Of course not." Kym felt her heart rate picking up and her face getting hot. She started walking away from the two men.

"Comman - Kym - wait. Please." Vaughn projected behind her. She stopped in her tracks and turned. By then, most of the senior officers were also in the corridor watching the show. She just wanted to get out of there.

"Please... what? Please don't be upset that your career has been snatched away? Please don't be mad at me? What, Vaughn? What more could you possibly want?" Kym said through the sting of tears.

"I want you to appeal." Vaughn said quietly.

"Why do you care about that?" Kym snapped. She felt her anger reaching it's limit and wanted to get out of there.

"Because you're a good officer. And you deserve to be here." Vaughn said, taking a step toward her. "More than some of us deserve to be here."

"I don't think so. I think I've had just about enough." Kym said quietly as a tear fell down her cheek. She turned and walked down the corridor, leaving her friends standing in front of the wardroom. She reached up and took her comm badge off her uniform and held it tight in her fist as she walked.

By the time Julian reached Kym's quarters, she was already packing. He walked into her quarters and noticed her comm badge, uniform, and pips were once again placed on the dining room table. Her weapon was waiting on the opposite side of the table.

"Where are you going?" Julian asked. He felt a lump in his throat, thinking the timing couldn't be worse for the latest series of events.

"Back to Ba'Hala. There is still so much work to be done there. After that, I don't know. Maybe I'll just stay there."

"Kym," Julian started gently. "I think you should appeal." Kym picked up her head and looked at Julian. She could feel his nervousness and sadness.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because we need you. I need you." he said quietly. "You're good at your job."

"I'm good at my job. Funny how that keeps coming up today. You realize you're talking to a girl who was nearly dismissed from the Academy, right? I don't know anyone else that almost didn't even make it, and then went on to have a successful career," Kym angrily snapped. "Maybe I wasted the last ten years of my life. I don't intend to waste the next ten."

Julian leaned against the back of a chair, staring into his folded arms. He couldn't believe what was happening.

"What about us, Kym?"

Kym stopped packing and took a deep breath. She didn't know exactly what to say.

"Please, just stay. You're angry. Please, just stay for a day or two. Please..." Julian continued. Kym's anger faded just a bit as she looked into his concerned, terrified face. She breathed deep and remembered Sisko's words again. _Grace_.

"Alright," she finally concluded, dropping her shoulders. Perhaps a day or two to calm down and determine her next steps was a decent idea. Her head still pounded and she suddenly felt exhausted from the events of the day. She placed her right hand over her face as her emotion surfaced, suddenly feeling Julian's embrace. As her tears fell, he held her tight. His comforting whispers drifted into her ears and made her drunk with happiness.

Perhaps she _could_ find grace in this situation. Somewhere.


	16. Chapter 16

_Stop leaving and you will arrive. Stop looking and you will be see. Stop running away, and you will be found. -Unknown_

Julian Bashir stared into his half-empty cup of raktijino. He had been casually sipping the now-cold drink for the better part of an hour on the top level of Quark's bar. He normally retreated to his usual table in the corner when he was feeling lonely or upset, patiently waiting for a friend to walk by and join him. Tonight, everyone seemed either too distant or absent.

He heaved a deep breath as he thought about the past week's events. Kym had started carefully distancing herself from everyone on the station - including him - since she was dismissed from Starfleet eight days ago. Julian knew she was contemplating leaving DS9, he just didn't know when. Thoughts of his previous relationships came flashing back to him - Ezri, Leeta, Sarina... Cerisse. They all left him. They all moved on, leaving him behind and wondering what he did wrong. And now, this relationship might end the same way.

Deep Space Nine was quickly becoming a place of scorn for Julian. His life seemed to fall apart at the most inopportune times here. The "frontier" had become nothing more than a sanitized Federation outpost now that Bajor was a member of the Federation. The discovery, the adventure... the thrill... had ended long ago and now Juilan was bored and disenchanted with his work.

The doctor's self-pity was interrupted by a shrill voice from a few meters away. "Another drink, Doctor?"

Julian looked up quickly and shook his head, only looking briefly at Quark before looking off into the distance. A flat tray with a few empty glasses suddenly plopped on the tabletop, startling Julian out of his self-indulgent stupor. Quark stood behind the opposite chair with his hands on his hips, staring directly at the doctor.

"Can I help you with something, Quark?" Julian's eyebrows furrowed instinctively while he at the Ferengi blankly.

"You can, in fact. You can start by telling me why you look like you're about to jump out of the nearest airlock," Quark bellowed out a little too loudly, irritating Julian's nerves.

"Don't want to talk about it, Quark," Julian sighed, letting his irritation melt. No good would come of getting aggravated by Quark. "At least, not here."

"It's Rzepka, isn't it?" Quark lowered into the opposite chair, crossing his legs. Julian looked up at Quark's face, which housed a wide grin. His sharp teeth glimmered from behind his lips. Julian let his head shake slowly.

"What about her?" Julian said quickly, suddenly not wanting to continue the conversation. Quark sat back in his chair, letting his smile fade.

"Well, for starters, she's never been fond of me, which tells me she guards herself closely. She's cautious. What I do know of her, for a fe-male, I respect. I think Starfleet dealt her an unfair hand and she's taking it a bit hard. And judging by the way you both look when you're together in here..." Quark let his voice trail off as he looked down at the dart board where Julian had spent several weeks teaching Kym to play. "You're taking it hard, too."

Julian scoffed and sipped his cold raktijino. The bitter drink forced him to wrinkle his nose and place the cup back down on the table. No wonder the drink had lingered in his hand so long. "What do _you_ know about fair, Quark?"

Quark leaned on the table with his elbow and leaned close to the doctor. "Plenty. And I have a feeling _your_ mood is about to change."

Julian looked up at Quark just as the Ferengi nodded his head to the left. Julian turned to look quickly, noticing Kym entering the bar and looking around. Julian's heart fluttered momentarily when he saw her dressed in civilian clothes. He still wasn't used to seeing her out of her uniform. The tray on the table slid back into Quark's hands as he stood from his chair. "I'll send her your way," he whispered as he ambled away, leaving the doctor alone with his cold Klingon coffee.

_No need,_ he thought, as Kym glanced up at the upper level and spotted Julian looking down at her. Her smile lit up the bar when she saw him and she turned to the staircase. Within another few seconds, the former Commander and Intelligence agent stood a few feet from him. He stood as she approached.

"Hey there," Julian quietly said, motioning to the empty seat Quark had just left. "Join me."

Kym gracefully yet gingerly sat in the chair across the table from Julian. Her head was spinning with emotions and thoughts from the crowded bar. She pushed them out of her head and concentrated on Julian's thoughts. She flashed a smile again. Her long brown hair was free, ending in light curls on the ends as it cascaded around her shoulders. She wore a dark red, sleeves just long enough to cover her elbows. "I thought I'd find you here," she teased.

"Everything okay?" Julian asked gently. Kym's smile had long faded when she thought about the reason she was sitting in Quark's bar. The good news came out first.

"I just submitted my appeal to the Captain," she replied. Julian's face lit up with the news.

"That's great! I'm glad you had a change of heart!" he exclaimed, reaching out and taking her hands in his. Kym turned her gaze down to their entangled fingers, closing her eyes in thought momentarily. Julian's joy faded away to concern after seeing her reaction. "...but...?" he pressed.

"I also turned in my reassignment request," Kym blurted out, keeping her voice as quiet as possible. She could feel the crushing emotion from Julian with the delivery of the news. Instead of letting go of her hands, he gripped them tighter as if he was holding on to his own reality, the one in which this news wasn't true.

"Where?" he squeaked. He knew she has been thinking about leaving and knew he shouldn't be surprised.

Kym stared into his light brown eyes. She had seen those eyes in so many other situations, but this was her least favorite. Those eyes had comforted her so many times in the past and now they were full of hurt. She hoped he wouldn't be so disappointed when he heard where she was going. "Home."

Julian nodded slowly. He knew her mother had been in precarious health over the past few years and Kym longed to be closer to home. He couldn't blame her for wanting to go. He also knew that Betazed was frequently short staffed at the embassy and Kym would make an excellent addition there. Especially as an intelligence analyst.

"I understand. It will be nice to have a desk job I would imagine. Quiet," Julian admitted, plastering a small fake smile on his face. He felt betrayed, rejected by her decision. He also felt guilty for expecting her to do what he wanted. Kym picked up on his mixed emotions and squeezed his hands.

"It's not a desk job, Julian," Kym said softly. "I requested a position with the Defense Requisition Project. I'm no physicist, but they're looking for engineers to design targeting arrays and homing systems."

"You're leaving SI?" Julian asked, suddenly confused. Kym slowly nodded.

"It's just not what I expected. I miss engineering too much," Kym admitted. "And I wouldn't be in this mess if I had never joined SI in the first place. Time to step back and return to what makes me happy."

Silence surrounded the two for several moments before Julian realized his dinner break would be over soon. "What are you up to this evening? Up for some company?" he asked. Kym let a smile come over her face, melting the tension in the moment. She slowly nodded as Julian stood from his chair and planted a light kiss on her forehead. "You make the plans," he whispered. Kym nodded slowly again as Julian left the bar quietly.


	17. Chapter 17

"She's _leaving?!_"

The sounds from Vaughn's mouth stung Kira's ears. She sat stiff at her desk, eyeing the baseball resting quietly on the black reflective surface. She reached for it and clasped it in her hands, twirling it around and feeling the laces with her fingertips. She thought about Sisko and wondered what he would do in this type of situation. He had refused to accept her own resignation more than once, but she couldn't bring herself to reject Kym's reassignment request.

As the station's commanding officer, she often dealt with difficult situations as this and learned quickly to put he personal feelings aside when it came to personnel affairs. Vaughn, on the other hand, had a hard time understanding. "I know," she replied with a monotone voice.

"This wasn't supposed to happen!" Vaughn's voice grew louder with every word that squirmed out of it. "She wasn't supposed to be dismissed in the first place!"

Kira's frustration with her first officer escalated as he became angrier. "Well, Mister Vaughn, if you hadn't tricked her into learning a lesson, this might not have happened. Your mind games are going to get someone hurt. They probably already have." Her voice was sharp and firm. Vaughn backed down off his anger and sat back in her chair.

"Captain," he softened his voice back to professional levels. "I understand your frustration. It's a bit different for intelligence agents. We tend to train our rookies on a more... intellectual... level." Kira's head snapped up and she glared at him, thinking she could dismiss him as her officer right then.

"Her appeal went straight to Hennessy. What will he do now?"

"He will reinstate her," Vaughn said quickly, not wanting to talk more about what he thought could have been a mistake.

"What if he doesn't?" Kira asked sharply.

"I'll be sure he does," Vaughn snapped. Kira dropped her shoulders in defeat, letting herself take a deep breath and relaxing a bit. She knew Commander Vaughn didn't intend to hurt Kym's career and thought he might be feeling a bit of guilt, too. Since Vaughn had been assigned to Deep Space Nine three years ago, Kira always had a hard time getting along with his stubborn mannerisms. Most of the time, she conceded to his ideas and concepts out of exhaustion.

"I can't say this situation hasn't ruffled a few feathers around here. No officer has lost their commission aboard the station since Michael Eddington, and that was nearly ten years ago. It wasn't quite the reaction I was expecting," Kira admitted, placing the baseball back in it's stand. The memory of Eddington, the station's former Starfleet Chief of Security and Maquis terrorist, had almost faded. He betrayed Starfleet to fight the Cardassians with the Maquis movement and nearly killed Captain Sisko. He was eventually killed by the Jem'Hadar while freeing his Maquis colleagues. "Crew morale is taking a hit."

Vaughn stared off into the distance. He hadn't spoken a single word to Kym since her Court Marshall hearing nine days ago. He knew she didn't want to be near him, so he kept his space from her. It wasn't hard - she'd been on Bajor several times in the past week and other wise kept to herself. He also wasn't sure she didn't know what he had done - that he reported her actions to Starfleet Command. If she did, no wonder she was angry. If she didn't... she was angry anyway. "Maybe I should talk to her," Vaughn suddenly suggested. Kira stifled a laugh.

"If you do, you'll have to be sure to let me know how it goes. When she gets angry... she _really_ gets angry," Kira said lightheartedly. "Try not to fuel the fire."

* * *

Prynn Tenmei downed her last sip of spring wine and carefully placed the foot of the glass back down on the metal table. The Celestial Cafe was unusually loud that night, but she didn't care. She loved Bajoran food and dragged her father there any time he offered to take her to dinner.

"You ok, Dad? You haven't really said much the entire meal. Is your Jumja Stick not good?"

Vaughn looked up from his plate and smiled at his daughter. Whenever she got a look of concern in her eye - which was not very often - she reminded him of Ruriko, her mother. He forced a fake smile. "I just have a lot on my mind, I guess."

Prynn picked up her glass and peered into it, wishing it wasn't empty. "Anything I can help with?" she asked absentmindedly. She looked her father in his eyes, which were framed with wrinkles and gray eyebrows. No doubt a result from his stressful career in Starfleet Intelligence for sixty years in addition to his advanced age.

Vaughn contemplated the conversation for a moment. Perhaps Prynn could offer insight on how to speak with Kym Rzepka.

"I did something stupid and now I need to make it right," he started. Prynn laughed out loud as the waitress returned to the table and offered more spring wine. Prynn held up her glass to allow the waitress to fill it again.

"_You_? Do something _stupid_?! Never!" she exclaimed with another laugh and taking a sip from her nearly full glass. Upon seeing the disheartened look on her father's face, she straightened her face and stopped laughing. "And you need advice on it?"

Vaughn nodded slowly, letting his scowl soften. "It's about Kym Rzepka."

Prynn gasped. She knew Rzepka had just been dismissed from the fleet, but she didn't know much about the details. Judging from her father's demeanor, she concluded that he probably had his hand in the outcome.

"Dad... what did you do...?" she practically whispered. She didn't know Former-Commander Rzepka very well, but had served with her on several occasions. She was a decent officer and Prynn enjoyed taking coffee breaks occasionally with her.

Commander Vaughn quietly told his daughter the story of how he reported her actions on Kurrill Prime to Starfleet Command and informed them of her violation of the Prime Directive. He explained how he was close friends with Admiral Hennessy and had asked him to suspend her, but only to teach her a lesson. Hennessy promised not to press formal charges after the accusation was made, but the investigation revealed more than Vaughn had anticipated.

Prynn's eyes grew wide as her father finished the story. "Dad," she accused. "You could have ruined her career!"

"I know. Now that she's put in her appeal, Hennessy will clean it up. She'll get her commission back. But now she's put in a request for transfer," Vaughn admitted. "Not only is she leaving the station, she's withdrawing her assignment with Starfleet Intelligence. And we need her. She's valuable to the Typhon Pact disarmament."

Prynn scoffed again. "You know why she requested a transfer, don't you?"

"No. Why?"

Prynn lifted her glass again to hide the grin quickly overcoming her face. "She wants to get away from _you_." For years she and her father didn't get along. In fact, she rather hated him. During the Borg Invasion, he had killed Prynn's mother in defense when Ruriko had been assimilated by the Borg. For years, Prynn didn't understand his actions. During her experience in the fleet, she grew to not only understand him, but to respect him. his stubborn attitude and brash command strategy took some getting used to, but Prynn finally felt like she and her father had a real relationship. "You drive her insane."

"How do you know that?" Vaughn quickly defended himself.

"Come on. You're always on her back about something. You never ease off her case for one second. I understand it's your job to mentor her and all, but you never let up. She needs some breathing room. Or... she did. Before she requested a transfer," Prynn explained quietly, leaning an arm on the table and looking at her half-empty glass in her hand. "Don't you think your latest stunt was a little over the top?"

Vaughn looked at his half-eaten Jumja Stick. His appetite had long left the table and now he wanted to sink into a hole in the floor. He knew his daughter was right. He would never admit it. "I don't. I just think it backfired."

Prynn laughed again. It was just like her father to stick to his guns over something like this.

"So, what do you want to do about it?" she finally asked, not really knowing how she could help. "Her commission will be reinstated. Isn't that enough?"

"No," Vaughn sighed. "She loves the station. I think she's making a big mistake by leaving." He thought about the situation again and pursed his lips. "Especially if she's leaving because of me."

"Then request a transfer yourself," Prynn suggested nonchalantly. She sipped her wine again as Vaughn stared at her, pondering what she just said. She noticed his stare and continued to explain her point. "You said so yourself that you were looking to explore a bit more. Request a starship assignment. Or... you could retire."

All of Prynn's points were valid and ones Vaughn could consider as viable. He nodded as he considered the options. He knew he first needed to talk to Kym, which would be harder than any transfer he could request. He knew what he needed to do, just didn't know exactly how to execute.


	18. Chapter 18

_Whirrrrrrrr..._

Kym pressed her eyes closed tighter and, feeling the stretch in her hips through her cross-legged sitting position, breathed deep.

_Whirrrrrrr... _

One eye peeked open. The light blue sky loomed overhead and pink clouds drifted carelessly above her head. Towering trees and softly singing birds surrounded her, lending a sense of peace to her troubled and twisted mind. She drew cool, fresh - albeit replicated - air into her nose, letting it sink into her gut and radiate through her arms and legs. As the light of the breath passed each muscle in her body, it instinctively relaxed. Her weightlessness and serenity was suddenly interrupted again.

_Whirrrrrr..._

Her hands fell to the ground beside her knees in a huff. The phase modulator in the holosuite was out of sync. How was she supposed to relax when it was so noisy?!

"Computer end program," she sighed, pulling her legs out from under her and standing. Her left hip felt tight as it stretched into an upright position and walked toward the exit.

Down in the bar, several patrons sat on bar stools carrying on light conversation. Kym inched her way to the bartop with the holosuite program chip in her hand, holding it out for Quark.

"Finished so soon, Ms. Rzepka?"

Quarks shrill, nasal voice always sent chills down Kym's legs. She never did understand where her discontent with Quark came from, it was just always there. She stepped on the footrail and lowered into a seat after Quark took the chip. "The phase modulator needs to be synchronized in Holosuite 2."

"Hm. I'll get nephew on that. Sorry, but no refunds," Quark said quickly, turning to grab a bottle off the shelf and pouring a drink for another patron. Kym shook her head at his avoidance of a money issue.

"I don't want a refund," she said with a disappointed tone. "I just want to relax."

"Well," Quark said with a laugh and a wide, toothy grin. "Wouldn't we all? Can I get you a drink?"

Kym sighed again, not feeling like staying, but not wanting to leave either. "Spring wine."

"Comin' right up!"

Quark hurried off behind the bar as Kym looked around. She sat in the last chair toward the door of the bar, overlooking a small portion of the promenade. Through the door she could see hundreds of Bajorans ambling toward the temple. Some kind of event? A wedding maybe?

"Here you go!"

A glass delicately appeared in front of her, filled nearly to the brim with sparkling clear liquid. The stem of the glass curved gently as it reached up from a small round foot. Quark leaned on the bar top in front of Kym and put a more serious look on his face. "I heard you might be leaving the station," he said in a quiet voice.

Kym picked up her glass and lifted it to her lips, tasting the first drop of sweet alcohol. She lowered the glass without putting it down and tossed a casual inquisitory look in Quarks direction. "Where did you hear that?"

"I'm a bartender. Is there anything I don't eventually hear?"

He had a point.

"No, I guess not," Kym replied, taking another sip. The delicate wine trailed down her throat and she felt better already. "You hear correctly," she finally confirmed.

"Not much of my business, but... where you going?" Quark asked quietly. Kym felt very uncomfortable talking to quark about anything, let alone personal business. She couldn't sense any emotion from him and his demeanor made her nervous. Today, though... she threw caution to the wind.

"I requested an assignment on Betazed," Kym said quietly. The bubbles in her drink floated weightlessly to the surface. She watched as each bubble originated from the bottom and ended its own life when it reached the top.

Quark looked around the bar for evesdroppers before he spoke again. "If you ask me, you're better off leaving. Not many of your friends will be here before too long. Tarses and Bowers are being reassigned. Kira is thinking about going back to Bajor, and Vaughn is putting in his transfer request to a star-"

"Vaughn?" Kym interrupted quickly.

"That's what I said. Word is, he's looking for a starship assignment. Something about exploring the stars or... something crazy like that," Quark said with a wave of his hand.

"Why would he do that? He loves Deep Space Nine," Kym wondered out loud.

"I dunno. Feels strangely like the end of the war again, though. You'll be better off getting out while you still can. Things are about to get very different around here..."

With that, Quark turned to wait on another customer. By then, Kym's glass was nearly empty. She downed the last sip and rose from her chair, turning to the door. She stopped for a moment before turning back to Quark.

"Quark?"

He lifted his head and looked at her with a cocked head and another toothy grin.

"Thank you," she said loudly, letting a tiny smile overcome her lips. Quark grinned and winked at her, thinking maybe she had heard what he was telling her.

As Kym ambled slowly into the Promenade, she took in the sights of the shops a little more carefully. She noticed the things she would miss about this place - the things she would never find anywhere else. Turning to her left, she started climbing the metal spiral staircase to the second level. The wormhole started opening just as she reached the top and she could hear a few audible "oohs" and "aahhs" from people visiting the station for the first time. The sound propelled another grin to her face as she inched closer to a vacant window, staring out for a few minutes. Remembering the first time she saw the wormhole, she sank into her own thoughts, pressing everything else out of her mind. She remembered the disdain she felt about being out on the frontier as she stared out into space...

_"Lieutenant Commander Kymberli Rzepka reporting for duty, sir." _

_Captain Benjamin Sisko looked up from the console and smiled. Before him stood a short young woman wearing a mustard uniform. New Engineering compliment - and a molecular engineer at that. He stood from his chair, straightening his jacket downward as he stood. _

_"Your orders, Commander?" he said gently. She held out a padd to him, which he took and glanced over. The only transfer from the Excelsior was a warp expert - the one officer the station didn't need. She was also versed in military analysis, and would be put to good use with the Dominion War on the horizon. Sisko was slightly disappointed with the lack of preference in officers, but took what he could. He held the padd out back to the petite, brown-haired woman, which she took. "Welcome to Deep Space Nine. We are pleased to have you." _

_"Thank you, sir," the young commander said. After the captain dismissed her, she turned and walked out into the massive operations hub of the station. She wondered how she would ever find her way around this place. She also wondered what she would be doing with Cardassian technology. Her nerves were a bit on edge already and she'd only been on the station for a day. _

_"Commander Rzepka!" _

_A voice with a strange Earth accent seemed to know her. She turned quickly to her left, seeing a man with curly hair and wearing the same mustard uniform. "I've been expecting you!" _

_He stepped toward her and held out his hand, which she took in a handshake. _

_"You must be Chief O'Brien," Kym replied, forcing a smile. _

_"That I am! Have you gotten a chance to settle in?" he asked. His voice was loud and his sile was bright. He seemed relatively happy. _

_"Not yet, sir. I just delivered my orders. I've only been aboard for an hour," Kym replied. _

_"Well," O'Brien chuckled. "I'll let you get settled then. I look forward to working with you, Commander. We have a lot of work to do around here." Kym could sense his relief of her presence, which was more than she could sense from the Captain. She smiled and nodded, turning to leave. As she turned, she immediately and forcefully bumped into another man - nearly knocking herself down. She felt his hands on her shoulders to prevent her from falling, then a small chuckle. _

_"Oh, excuse me! I'm so sorry!" Another funny accent. She looked up at the young man with dark hair. A lieutenant wearing a science uniform flashed a smile. _

_"No, I'm sorry. I didn't... see you there." Kym said, feeling even more nervous and a little embarassed. _

_"Julian, this is Lieutenant Commander Kymberli Rzepka. She is our newest engineer and military analyst." O'Brien spoke up from behind his console. "Commander, this is Doctor Julian Bashir."_

_Kym shook the doctor's hand and exchanged "Nice to meet you" with him. She excused herself and retreated to the lift toward the habitat ring._

She grinned to herself as she remembered the first time she saw him. He was... cocky. Proud. Energetic. Slightly arrogant. She never thought she would have gone through all that she did aboard the station. She never thought she would fall in love - and in hate - with this place. And now all of it was falling apart in front of her just as quickly as it started.

The stars floated carelessly by as she sensed Commander Vaughn's presence behind her.

_Here we go..._. she thought to herself. _Ready or not... _


	19. Chapter 19

Kym's breath filled her belly and felt cool as it escaped through her nose. He was getting closer.

"May I help you, Commander?"

He was close enough behind her, she could see his reflection in the glass of the window. He stopped short when he heard her voice, but she didn't turn to face him. She wasn't sure what to say even if she did turn.

"I want to talk to you. If you don't mind."

His voice was worried. Kym could sense his frustration and uneasiness. She turned slowly to face him, finally looking him in the eye. She waited a few moments to sense more of his emotion. Sorrow. Guilt. He had a secret - one he intended on her knowing.

Emotionless, expressionless, she answered him in a monotone voice: "Alright."

He motioned to the table on the far end of the promenade. After they sat, the words spilled out of Vaughn's mouth and practically splattered on the floor.

"I was the one who reported your actions on Kurill Prime and I was the one who initiated the investigation. I wanted you to learn a practical life lesson, but I didn't intend for it to go this far. The Admiral told me he wouldn't let it go as far as a court marshall. I didn't know the court marshal would be out of his hands. It was a really dumb thing to do and I'm... sorry. I don't want you to leave the station because of me. I put in my request for reassignment this morning. I just... wanted you to know... the truth." Vaughn could feel the heat radiating from his chest into his face as he stared at Kym. At least the truth was out. At least his conscience was clear. Sort of.

Kym stared blankly at the commander. Her heart started fluttering in her chest as the adrenaline surged through her body. She kept her cool - she knew she was the bigger person in this.

"Commander, with all due respect... what the hell were you thinking?" Her voice was calm. So calm, in fact, it almost scared her. No need to loose her cool now, she thought to herself. The damage was already done.

"I... wasn't."

Kym stared Vaughn in the eye. She had never seen him this vulnerable and apologetic. It was almost like he was a child again, begging for forgiveness after he broke a vase. Her face remained emotionless as she stared at him, waiting for the next words to find her. The people in the promenade seemed louder than usual and the noise clogged her thought path.

Kym pushed up on the the table and rose from her seat. Vaughn stood too, still waiting for her to say something. Becoming increasingly impatient, he piped up again.

"Kym, I'm so sorry for what I've done. In a few days, you should - "

Kym quickly held her hand up to silence Vaughn. She didn't want to hear what he had to say, but only wanted to know one thing.

"When will your new assignment start?"

"Pending approval," Vaughn said slowlly. "Next week."

"Good luck, then."

Kym turned and walked steadily away from the table, leaving Vaughn standing alone. He heaved a heavy sigh and looked out the window at the twinkling stars. His disappointment mounted as he thought about the encounter. He knew he did the right thing by telling her, he did not expect her to brush him off. Sighing again, he turned and headed into Quark's bar to drown his sorrows.

* * *

_Reinstatement of commission and rank: approved._

_Charges of Prime Directive violation reversal: approved. _

_Transfer request to Embassy on Betazed: approved. _

The padd in Kira's hand displayed the exact information she was hoping it would. At the same time, she dreaded reading the transfer request approval. She didn't even want to call Kym Rzepka to her office to share the news. Three more padds graced her desk, all displaying information she knew was coming her way but didn't care to read.

_Dr. Simon Tarses to be transferred to USS Aventine, NCC 82602, effective in fourteen days. _

_Commander Elias Vaughn to be transferred as commanding officer of USS James T. Kirk on TDY, pending promotion orders. _

_Captain Kira Nerys, resignation as commander of Deep Space Nine approved, effective in seven days. _

She hadn't announced to the station she was planning her resignation. Things on Bajor had changed and she was going back. The matter has been a private one until now. With a number of her friends also leaving the station, she felt less guility of leaving and more looking forward to getting back to her family and culture.

Somehow, none of that seemed important to her now. She thought about the feud between Vaughn and Rzepka. She knew Vaughn had confessed his wrongdoings and Kym blew him off. Getting into their business wasn't something she wanted to do, but she couldn't sit by and watch her two friends ruin their relationship.

Kira was a fixer. When she saw a problem, she knew she had to do something to fix it. Her time during the occupation helped evolve her way of thinking into maintaining the status quo - lending a hand wherever she could and helping her comrades ease back into broken friendships.

_This one_, she thought,_ might be difficult. _

She had to do something. Even if it was her last act as captain of DS9, she would feel better knowing she was leaving her friends in good graces. Sitting gently in her chair and grabbing the old, worn baseball from its stand on her desk, she tapped her comm badge:

"Kymberli Rzepka, please report to the commander's office."

Kira thought for a moment, wondering how she can make her conversation with Kym more impactful. She intended to convince Kym, now that she had her commission back, to forgive Vaughn and extend an olive branch. Then she got an idea and tapped her comm badge again.

"Kira to Commander Vaughn, please report to my office."

She leaned back in her leather chair, wondering what she was going to say. Perhaps this situation required a little cross-communication. As Vaughn walked in the door, followed closely by Kym Rzepka, Kira felt nervous and excited, all at the same time. _This is silly,_ she thought, _they are two adults. What could possibly go wrong?_


	20. Chapter 20

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap... _

Kym turned her gaze to Vaughn's hand. His fingertip tapped nervously on the arm of his chair. She sensed his uneasiness and felt sympathetic to his emotions. They sat alone in Captain Kira's office as she stepped out to take a call. Vaughn looked straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with Kym.

_This is stupid_, she thought to herself.

"I forgive you," Kym suddenly and quietly said. Chills scurried down her legs as she thought about putting her feelings out in the open for Commander Vaughn to see.

Vaughn slowly turned his head to face Kym. The century old wrinkles on his face looked even more tired than usual. His eyes were hard. Emotionless. Stern.

"Why?"

His tone of voice reminded her of the first time she met him. She felt he was so hard on her. Relentless. The sound of his voice today reminded her of how it had changed over the past few months. Vaughn had become softer with her, more caring. Kym didn't even notice until he sounded harsh again. This made her sad - she had lost the security she found in Commander Vaughn.

"I understand why you did what you did. I'm sorry I was so-"

Before Kym could finish her thought, Captain Kira entered the office again. She carried two small PADDs in her hands. As she made her way around her desk, she began to speak in a soft voice.

"This station has seen too much senior staff turnover in the past five years. I'm equally dismayed to see both of you among the recent transfer requests," she started as she handed a PADD over to Kym and also one to Vaughn. Kym looked at the orders on the device in her hand. It described orders for Elias Vaughn, to be reassigned to starship duty aboard the _James T. Kirk_, role of commanding officer, with permanent ship assignment at a later date. Her stomach welled up in a knot. She didn't know Vaughn had really requested reassignment. She never believed anything that came out of Quark's mouth.

Commander Vaughn looked equally dismayed when he read the information on the PADD. Orders for Kymberli Rzepka to immediately report to Betazed for assignment at the Embassy. Removal from Starfleet Intelligence.

_She's going home,_ Vaughn thought to himself. He lifted his head to find Kym already staring at him, holding out the PADD in her hand. He took it, then handed the one he was holding. When Kym saw her new orders, she instantly felt a moment of regret. And anger. Before her emotions could fester, the Captain began to speak again.

"My own resignation will be effective in seven days. I can't make either of you stay, but I can help you work out whatever is still between you so your professional relationship will continue. Who knows, you might need each other again one day," Kira's voice remained soft as she sat in her chair, folding her hands in her lap, waiting for someone to speak.

"Nerys, I... did not know you were resigning. May I ask why?" Kym's voice trembled with surprise and fear. Usually the captain shared almost everything with Kym in the past. Her heart pounded in her chest and she felt disconnected from her own body.

"Personal reasons," Kira began, sitting back in the black leather chair. "I'm going back to Bajor."

This silence in the room made both Kym and Vaughn feel sick to their stomachs. Before she could vomit all over the captain's desk, Kym stood and breathed deep.

"I am terribly sorry to excuse myself, Captain, Commander, but I need to get packing. I believe the next transport toward Betazed leaves tomorrow," Kym spoke quietly, suddenly realizing she was a Starfleet Officer again. Her heart jumped - again - and she felt like she was dreaming. Meanwhile, Kira also stood.

"Of course," Kira responded. "We can continue this discussion this evening over dinner. My quarters. Both of you. 1930."

Kym started to object, but she knew the effort would be a mute point. She nodded in agreement. Vaughn nodded too.

"Good," Kira continued. "You can pick up your isssued equipment and uniform in Central Supply at your convenience."

* * *

It was late. Kym's eyes burned against her eyelids and her head hurt. Dinner was over already - she and Kira and Vaughn had a very long discussion, but she didn't feel much better about what happened between her and Vaughn. She knew he was more than sorry for what happened, so she didn't feel right holding a grudge. And now she was about to ruin someone else's night. She was feeling pretty lousy sitting on her sofa, reading the interstellar news.

The door chimed, giving her a little startle. She turned off the PADD, said a small prayer, and voiced her greeting. Behind the door appeared Julian, lookig concerned and tired. He walked into the room and sat on the adjacent chair beside Kym.

"Everything ok?" He had no idea what was going on when he asked her about what was happening.

Her eyes started to well up before she even had a chance to start speaking.

"I was reinstated today," Kym said, her voice feeling shaky and tears starting to well up again. Julian moved closer to Kym, sat beside her, and took her hand in his. He didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue talking. Obviously, she had more to say. When she got herself together, she sighed and began speaking again.

"I also received my reassignment request. On Betazed."

Julian sat still as a statue. He could feel her upset. He could feel her uneasiness. It was a strange sensation, but he knew she was feeling more than what he was feeling. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. He felt like a boulder had been dropped on his head, crushing his skull and threatening to kill him as he sat on Kym's sofa in her quiet quarters. He didn't know what to feel.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He could also feel the sting of tears in the corners of his eyes as he quickly blinked.

Kym nodded. Then she shrugged her shoulders. Then she nodded again. Her emotions were running away and she didn't like it.

A few more awkward moments passed until Julian spoke again.

"When do you leave?"

Shivers paraded down Kym's spine. Her hands were sweaty and her lip started quivering.

"Tomorrow," she blurted out. She knew she needed to get herself together if she wanted to continue with the conversation. She wanted to end their relationship - yet she wasn't exactly sure how to tell him that.

Julian knew something else was on Kym's mind. He felt very uneasy and he gripped her hands tighter. He had a pretty good idea where this was going.

"I think it's a good idea," he said quietly, unbelieving of the words had come out of his mouth. Kym looked up at him with tears in her eyes, wondering what he was talking about.

"What is?" Kym stifled her tears, only for a moment, until she realized what he was talking about. She looked at her hands, not wanting to be there. She wanted to fall through the floor and drift away as a lifeless body out into space. She wanted to be anywhere but there.

"Ending it. I mean, a long distance relationship is really hard to maintain," Julian started. "I don't want you to be distracted from your project, anyway."

Kym's heart suddenly jumped into her throat. She suddenly didn't want to leave. She didn't want to break up with Juilan. She didn't want her life to change. She knew she was stuck with the assignment, but she knew she wanted to try to make the relationship work. The assignment was for a year, with optional extensions, so she could come back to DS9 if she wanted to.

"No," she practically screamed out. "I don't want to end it. I want to make it work. I mean, if you want to."

Julian felt a sense of relief come over him. The two spend the rest of the night together talking, laughing, crying, and enjoying their last night together for a long time. The best, and worst, night Kym could remember in a long tome.


	21. Chapter 21

Kym drudged through the corridor toward the airlock. Her bag slung over her shoulder, she was ready. At least, as ready as she was going to be. She hadn't adequately prepared for her own departure - until yesterday, it wasn't even supposed to happen. Yet here she was, running again.

She thought about the events of the past three months. It all seemed like a blur. She thought about the real reasons she was requesting the new assignment. She wanted to help her home build the defenses they tragically lacked during the Dominion War. Betazed wouldn't be able to handle another attack without weapons or defenses. She knew the work she'd be doing would make a real difference.

But what about her work here? Nog was still very green as Chief of Operations and he relied on her as a source of information and encouragement. Even though Kym didn't entirely trust the Ferengi, she knew he was trying hard and was passionate about his job.

She would miss him.

Kym thought about Commander Vaughn. They had been through so much together over the past year. Her anger for his actions had all but vanished, but it was fading quickly. She had the feeling the Commander would be happy in his new assignment, but he was heartbroken she was leaving the station. She couldn't figure that part out.

And there was Julian. Perhaps out of all her friends, she had been through the most with him. He had been available and comforting for her for a very long time. From the very beginning, the first time she bumped into him in Ops on her first day. When Julian would bring coffee down to the engine room during a late night shift for Miles, he would always bring an extra cup for Kym. Whenever Julian noticed her walk into Quarks alone, he would always invite her to their table. She always felt included when Julian was around.

The past three months, though, were almost surreal.

As she approached the airlock, she felt her friends' presence before she heard their voices. A sudden rush of nervousness came over her, thinking she didn't really know how to say goodbye to all of them. She turned the corner and they turned toward her. The voices quieted.

Captain Kira, Lieutenant Ro, Lieutenant Nog, Commander Vaughn, Lieutenant Bowers, and Doctor Bashir all stared at her. Awkward moment, indeed.

Kira was the first to approach her and hug her quietly. As Kira stepped back, she smiled at Kym. "We all just wanted to see you off. I hope that's okay."

"Of course it's ok. I'm honored." Kym already felt the sting of tears as she placed her bag on the floor. Kira took Kym's shouders in her hands and looked her in the eyes.

"Best of luck, friend. You will be missed." Kira's eyes also glistened with fresh tears as she stifled them back. "Although I have to tell you. You'll be back."

Kym let out a small chuckle. "How do you know that?"

"I can see it in your eyes."

Kym smiled a small, uneasy smile. "I'll miss you too. Thank you for everything."

Good byes were easy for Ro and Bowers. They were both all-business farewells. Nog was filled with sadness as he said goodbye, and asked if he could call her whenever he had a question. Kym laughed and nodded.

Commander Vaughn stood next to Julian with his hands clasped behind his back. Standing nearly a foot taller than Kym, he guided his head down to look her in the eyes.

"All of this is my fault. I hope you can find it in your heart one day to truly forgive me."

Forgive. She had already said the words to him yesterday, yet he knew there was more forgiving to do. He knew her better than she thought. As she quickly contemplated his words, she shook her head slowly.

"You weren't the one at fault. I was. You were merely the catalyst. And for that, I have to thank you. Maybe one day, I'll understand why."

No hugs or handshakes were exchanged. No salutes were given. No nods or smiles. Just straight faces between Vaughn and Rzepka. They both knew this wouldn't be resolved today.

Then there was Julian. He didn't say anything to her, but just took her into his arms and held her for a long time. She felt his sadness, understood his hurt. He didn't shed a tear, but breathed in her scent one last time before she would be gone. Sometime during the long embrace, the other crew members left the corridor, offering Kym and Julian a bit of privacy.

When Julian finally let go, he stared into her dark eyes. He wasn't exactly sure what to say, so he kissed her passionately on the lips.

After what seemed like forever, she looked back up at him, touching her forehead to his. "I'll call you when I get there."

Julian nodded. Kym could practically feel his heart breaking right there in front of her. She hated it. For him, for her, for her friends - she hated it. But she knew it was something she had to do. She could hardly believe the words coming out of her own mouth.

"I love you."

Julian quickly took her in another embrace and held her for another few minutes until the final boarding call rang out over the loudspeaker. He let her go slowly, kissed her again, and whispered in her ear:

"I love you more."

* * *

Three days in space landed Kym right at her mother's doorstep. She opted to stay at her mother's home in the Melorin Province, not far from the University of Betazed and the Federation Embassy. Crew quarters at the embassy were small and stuffy. Kym needed sunshine and pink clouds. She knew it wouldn't be easy living with her mom, but she intended to make the best of it. Her mother was only here part time, anyway - three nights a week, she slept at the convent of elders in the holy city.

A doorbell ring away from her new life, at least, for the next few months. Still, Julian's face from three days ago burned fresh in her memory. She remembered she had to call him when she got inside.

She pressed the button. Slow footsteps behind the door, a comforting sensory feeling, and a creak of the doorknob.

_My child! You've finally come home!_


End file.
